enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Tired.

I realized last night that I need some nice lingerie.

Just because. Just for me. I'm not attracted to anyone at the moment (am trying to not despair about this, but alas).

I also made an interesting discovery. I am not a 34C! I am something between a 30 and a 32 D or DD. I mean, how did I not measure myself and figure this out before? I'm such a moron about some things.

Unforch, this is the lingerie that I love, and it's really too expensive:

Is this not the best, ever?

Swoon! What an economist I would be were I wearing some of that under my clothes... Swoon.

In other news, I did not sleep well lsat night. I slept OK, but not quite enough. This will probably mar Italian somewhat, but I'll survive. I realized that what is making me grumpy is, indeed, that I haven't spent enough time alone this week. It was a pretty terrible week for that. I was out five or six nights. I need to stop, reverse, and stay home and read and/or draw or whatever. Problem is that tomorrow I have that date with Raphael. He has been so polite and so on and it's the last night that that movie is showing, so I will feel badly if I cancel on him. I really can't do it. But I'm not signing on for anything else until next Saturday, when I'm already committed to go to a Chinese New Year celebration.

Yeah. It's good to understand oneself. I really cannot take too much activity with other people, day in and day out.
I'll be in demand today, so I'll have to talk to f__ing people all day today.

Are there any jobs for hermits? Other than being a hermit, that is? I should become a consultant, like some people I know. :)

I was thinking something else somewhat interesting, but I forget (I know, don't flatter yourself). Among other things, I was thinking, "I want my mommy!" Sometimes, it's like that. The positive thing is that the past significant number of Mondays have been much better than I expected before going - pleasant, in fact. I do have nice colleagues and my work is interesting. I'm reminded of the "now" thing.I seem to be worrying less and less about the past these days - which is good - but am living too much in anticipation of a future that might be better and kinder and more positively surprising than one would think. Of course it's minus 11 C, -20 with the windchill. :( OK. Turn that frown upside down and put on your boots...

XOOXO

8:11 a.m. - 2010-02-08

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