enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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I won.

Good morning!

Going out is good for one!

I feel much better right now, and I realize that it's because I spend so much time alone that I get into unconstructive, self-critical "loops."

When you go out you're forced to live rather than imagine things. I find I get into a cycle of irrational fears when I just sit at home imagining things. It's why, I figure, Florence always makes me so happy. Apart from the fact that everything is disgorging beauty there, I'm out and about, meeting people, out of my normal skin.

So last night I felt as though I was "traveling" a bit in my own city. I was out with a completely inappropriate "date" for me, really, but I learned some imporatant things, experienced a gathering in a place I would never normally go (just a public restaurant, but one I had thought was not my style - no worries), and took a chance. All good.

I figure that all of this is meant to lead me to something. It's either going to lead me to a relationship with someone interesting, or it's going to lead me to do that PhD in history, or it's going to lead me to formalize another plan in regard to Europe or somewhere else. The thing is though that only more information is going to aid things as I move forward. Hence, going out is the thing.

So I was invited to go skating this morning at 8 a.m. It could have been fun, but I must say that I'm a little bit trepidatious after breaking my arm least year. I don't know. I got pretty darn lucky last year, in that work was unaffected as I could still type well. I couldn't draw for two months though!

So I haven't heard from the writer guy, and so I'm going to make other plans for today. It's all good. I will keep things moving forward! I think I'll spend today reading and cooking.

XOXO

9:06 a.m. - 2010-01-24

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