enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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And then there were curr3ncy crises

Hey dolls,

Back from Atlanta. So glad to be back home. Nothing against Atlanta. I do understand suddenly though why people who travel extensively with work don't always enjoy it that much. I've never really enjoyed traveling for work, so I don't know why I'm surprised.

Also, I'm really raring to go in terms of getting my life ramped up with some new activities this winter. I don't know how to explain it; I'm ready to open some doors.

So nothing much happened at the conference. In general the level was very high, which you'd expect...from the best economics association in the world. I mean, if you like economics and all. I in fact persist in thinking that economics is mostly bullshit, but at least there were Nob3l-level bullshitters present.

Atlanta the city was, surprisingly, very, very cold. I can't tell you why it felt so cold and why it feels less cold here even though it is colder. I think it might be something about expectation. Also, there was a fierce wind there.

I suppose a further point is that I don't typically stand around outside here. I'm usually moving. There, C. and I spent a day outside walking around the Martin Luth3r King Jr. Nat!onal Historic Site and that was awesome. But cold. We walked to Gr@nt Park to look at the homes and my hands still bear the chapping from that.

So I have to say that the conference, of course, got me feeling all sorts of ambivalent feelings about my career, etc. This was to be expected. If I tell the truth it's that I never like to be other than at the top of the distribution. And frankly, in economics, I am not. Hanging around with all of these people who do full-time, specialized academic research time in a subject I never really had much interest in anyhow, but in which I am supposedly trained...left me feeling a bit inadequate. I don't like that. I don't like to waste my energy on something unless I am the best or nearly the best. There - I've said it. It's why I keep on wanting to switch to something in which I have sufficient interest to have the fire be stoked. All that said though I very much enjoyed lectures by some of the old lions in the field, which reminded me of what I did love in the subject at one poitn - economic history and careful, literate institutional economics and political economics - but which was crushed out of me by the stupid pseudo-science that is practically canonized as the state of the art of research these days. I don't know - I think I'm an old-school historian at heart. I missed my calling. Oh and there was a fabulous lecture on the mechanics of developing meaningful world poverty measures and indices. I mean, it broke my heart.

In more interesting news, however :), I realized that I could never date an economist. They really ARE as boring as you'd expect, and not to mention badly dressed. Except for one French economist (I mean, C. even noted that even the ITALIAN economists wear bad shoes ;)). Said rockstar economist I've started calling by his first name only (not to his face, I mean - I can only view this man from afar :)).

Well, enough about boring conferences. I must have been doing something right there in actively scanning the rooms for Italians; I must have sent some sort of psychic vibe over to Italia, because...when I got home I found I had a PHONE MESSAGE FROM "ANDREA FROM FIRENZE!"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Super happy about that. I mean, nothing is going to come of it, but it had really bothered me that I'd misunderstood things. I'd thought we'd had a great time. I'd thought we'd clicked. He said he'd call...and then he didn't. I mean, I forgot about it after about a month, but I'd really been sure that he would call and so was quite bothered by the fact that I'd turned out to have such foolish instincts.

So I was on the plane tonight joking with C. about when i would be going back to Italia. I mean, I was joking about March, after the national fudge-it. And maybe that was a not a bad suggestion. :)

I don't know. In truth, I was talking with C. about following up on my plan to go to London and Paris in April or May.

I just don't know. I say that all the time. That and "tricky." C. always smiles when I say that. I say it almost every day, in answer to this or that question.

"Can you fit in an egg bagel this morning?"

"Tricky."

Do you think that a ___ elasticity should be calculated using an entire nonlinear budget constraint or something linearized?

"Tricky."

"Is it Italians or French who wear better shirts?"

"Tricky."

You see? It's an appropriate answer for nearly every question.

:)

XO

11:12 p.m. - 2010-01-05

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