enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Saturday light bouncing off the rooftop skylight across the road

WOw! I'm a different person these days.

So far the online dating thing has been hilarious. I even had a conversation/chat last night with a guy who seemed really, really smart. Such a turn on to find a man who can challenge me, but in a nice way. A fabulous, sustained philosophical discussion...

Of course, I'm sure that he is crazy in person.

But whatever.

I'm taking it easy.

I'm skipping yoga this morning though. The sun is shining brightly in my apartment and so I'm enjoying that. I was waiting for C., but he called me a bit late and it turns out that he has decided to go downhill skiing today instead. Cool. I'm not feeling that well - nothing serious - felt like a cold last night, and this morning my tummy is a bit upset - so I'll do some gentle yoga here myself. Tonight I have dinner with Ava and K and then a concert with a big group.

I don't know, dudes, but it seems I'm happy! It also seems that I'm confident. I feel unpurturbed by men judging me and I have pretty close to zero expectations. I still think of Marco. I know - bad! But I have accepted that there's no chance of that working out. Instead, I'm holding up how I feel about myself when I'm with him as a model. Thank you, Marco, for giving me the lovely gift of feeling special just as I am. (He always tells me that, even now: "You are special. Did I tell you that?")

Yeah, it's all good.

I need to go out to buy coffee. It turns out that I am out and my God that is never a good situation...

Will post some pics if I do those paintings for my parents. XO

11:11 a.m. - 2009-12-12

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