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enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Preoccupato

Decent day, although I'm a bit tired. I really ought to go to bed.

C. is doing better, but I still feel as though he's shaky. He has made an appointment to go to see someone next Friday though, so that is good. The last couple of weekends have been taken up with talking with him and with his parents, however, and I'm a little bit exhausted.

We ran today and then we went out to IK3A to buy a few things for C's place. Whilst there I realized that I hate IK3a. I know - it's terrible to become so snobby. It's just that, as usual, I can't stand disposable things. I look at a lot of the furniture there and it makes me depressed - more stuff for the landfill.

But then again, I like my little love seat from there and I can appreciate that there were times when I couldn't afford better. I don't mean to criticize anyone who shops there. I made a decision when there though that from now on I'm only buying second-hand things of a high quality, meant ot last for a very long time.

Having said that, I bought a lamp. I almost took it back when we approached the cash, but in the end I'm glad I bought it. I put it in my bedroom and it is tall and slim and has a pink shade. My bedroom looks much warmer with the pink light tinging the grey walls. It's pretty.


Anyhow. Ignore me!

I realized today that I may just be at the peak of my powers! I feel fit and pretty and strong. It has been a drain to be worrying about C's happiness and wellbeing of late, but I owe it to him as a friend. He seems to be doing the right things, and of course he will be going to Germany to visit his family over the holidays. I think that that will do him some good. At any rate, I know that it took me time to work through my problems and so patience is the key. Better that he get there now rather than delay further into his life.

So...all good. And I'm so excited about the career success I've had of late. You can't imagine how important this has been for my confidence. To be able to build this out of the anxiety that I was suffering from a year or two ago is truly a miracle. It gives me the strength and hope that I am able to move forward through anything. I love the life that I have.

Bon! Bonne nuit, mes amis.

XO

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12:38 a.m. - 2009-12-07

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