enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Oh today...all of the ways in which I hated you.

Ah..there's no point. SOoooo many things went wrong today, but today is done.

I'm actually feeling pretty horrible - feverish and achey, I'm guessing from the H1N1 shot that I had last night. I went to drawing class and was pretty useless.

Anyhow. I am home. Hopefully tomorrow will be fresh and better! I must admit that I'm nervous. I have my mid-year review tomorrow. I'm kind of stressed about that, for no good reason. I guess I'm eager to get my promotion. I know I've done very well, but I always feel as though I should be doing more. I somehow feel that I'm held to a higher standard. We'll see, I guess.

At any rate, it's a job.

The only really terrible thing that I noticed is that when things go wrong my confidence plummets to near zero. I couldn't draw well tonight in part because I was feeling so self-loathing. And then of course I'm judging myself for not being good. Not good. But worth observing.

In more interesting news, I suppose, I went looking for jobs in Rome. Unforch, the UN food and ag agencies have a cutoff of 35 fo the young professionals programmme. Somehow, I wasn't that depressed. I think I will figure out by looking into a hundred or more things what exactly I will do next.

9:18 p.m. - 2009-11-24

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