enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Plus ca change..

Good morning!

Well I feel like myself again this morning.

I think this week I was obsessing subconsciously about my upcoming promotion. I was building up fear where there need not be any.

Also, pertaining to the "life" stuff, I was allowing myself to get anxious about when things are going to happen.

C. and I did a hard run after work yesterday, however, and then afterwards I showered and walked out to the LCB0 to buy a nice bottle of Chianti. On the way I had only friendly, happy feelings. When I sit back and enjoy my life exactly as it is I realize that... my life is as I've made it, and for a reason. I choose things that I like and that suit my personality. I really did not want to be out at a pub or a party last night. So why would I be beating myself up for not doing something I wouldn't enjoy??

I also enjoy my neighbourhood. The streets are very pretty and I enjoyed walking around and looking at the houses from the outside. I went to the grocery store as well, and picked up some nice cheese for dinner.

Tonight I think I'll go to the film festival to see what looks to be a quirky Bulgarian film. And that's cool. I need to feel pride in being so self-determining and choosing to live my OWN life and not someone else's.

So, phew. Am on the level. In fact, I'm better than that.

I put up Anna's calendar in my living room and right now I am looking at the picture for December 2010. It's just so pretty! I couldn't resist. That pic is going to get a lot of use, with duty to be done for two Decembers.

This morning is yoga. I slept in and now I'm attempting to pump myself up for yoga. I realized, I don't know when, that I'm not a real yoga person. Or maybe I *am* a real yoga person. When I'm at my yoga classes here these days I'm feeling, more than anything, annoyed at how crowded the room is and at all of the people in their trendy yoga outfits. I feel much more yoga-y when I'm in churches in Italy. Maybe I need to find myself an ashram. :)

OK. I should shower. I have olive oil in my hair. I love to use olive oil as a conditioner. But it's probably not the best idea to go to yoga smelling like a salad.

XO

9:58 a.m. - 2009-11-21

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