enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Off I go on a self-indulgent rant.

Having an interesting day.

Kind of the same old, same old, but very different.

I went to yoga! It was so crowded! And I felt more grumpy afterwards than before. Which was not very grumpy, but a little bit grumpy.

Annie was there and so C. and she and I went for breakfast. The bells rang during the meal as to why I simply don't think I can be very good friends with her. She's a nice enough girl, but she likes to gossip. More importantly, she just doesn't KNOW anything that interests me. We were talking and she mentioned someone else on our floor. And then she said something to the effect of her being very sophisticated and reading French philosophers. But by French philosophers she meant...Alain de Botton.

I mean, nothing against Alain de Botton. I read him myself.

But he's English. And he's hardly a philospher. He writes about philosophy for the masses. Not an insurmountable distinction, but still a distinction.

So I walked home after lunch and I felt cool about everything. I must accept that people at work are smart people but not people with any artistic inclinations whatsoever, in general. I'm just not going to connect. I mean, over breakfast in Florence I could have an actual discussion with Sabrina about Caravaggio! AGHH. I'm so starved for such conversation.

I'm better off looking into other communities than in my own. I like the girl who was at the film the other night. She's an anthropologist. She's interesting and I mean she started a documentaries club! That's cool!

I don't know. I need to stop complaining and get out somewhere. I'm going to go to the film festival tonight. Not sure if there will be anyone to talk to there, but it's better than nothing. I was reading reviews on imdb and frankly I think I ought to start sending notes to some of the people who leave reviews there. The reviews are often highly thoughtful and intelligent. I want to know people like this! Where are they?

I know I'm whining. It's not an attractive quality. But I'm tired of mainstream. I feel lonely here. It's a kind of travelers' syndrome, I'm sure. UGH. I'm trying. What I mean by that is that I am attempting to find people who are interesting to me. It's hard work. I'm sure there are some out there but most likely they are currently obsessing over their young children. Which is fair enough. That's what most people do in their 30s and 40s. I'm abnormal.

On a more positive note, the light in my apartment in late afternoon was divine. I'm also eating some lovely cheese.

Have a lovely evening!
XO

4:49 p.m. - 2009-11-21

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