enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Sunday morning..so good to me.

Hi friends,

I hope you are well.

I'm meandering through a Sunday morning.

Sunday mornings, I like to listen to the 3-hour news and culture program on CBC radio. The announcer C and I like to laugh about a bit, as he's an idiot when it comes to economics. It's quite hysterical. He's also a foolish culture snob (claims never to have even heard of pop culture figures when their names arise). I rather enjoy the fact, however, that he learned Italian so that he could better understand Italian opera. I'm more interested in being a generalist than he is, but clearly his tastes are touched by something I can understand.

The CBC, to be honest, is rather silly. The quality has declined remarkably over the last twenty to thirty years. NPR is probably much better, although I can't be bothered to switch. CBC is probably my one link with the Canada that I thought was or could be. Now that I'm older, however, I understand how parochial and mediocre we can be. And maybe that's good, useful; honesty is useful. It helps me to see how childish and underdeveloped I am as a person as well.

There are still a few gems on the CBC, however, I must admit. My absolute favourite is Writ3rs and Company, with El3anor Wacht3l. I would suggest that that program can hold its own with any I've heard in the English-speaking world. She's a wonderful interviewer, and never unable to rise to the intelligence of those she's interviewing. It's an incredible treat. Down the totem pole a bit is Tap3stry, a program about all matters spiritual. The host is not as strong as El3anor, but she still does a good job (Mary Hin3s). I like the program. It offers interviews with a fairly balanced and diverse swath of people thinking about everything from evolution to jih@d.

Anyhow. THAT was an aside.

I woke up this morning with a sore hip (deffo need to get some work done on that), but the same calm resolve about the running. It's time. It's what I want to do. I want to do it for fun and for me.

I also woke up looking at paint chips. ARGH! I can't decide. I don't have much experience with painting an apartment. The chips are all darker than they appeared in the store. I don't yet know what to do! I don't want to chicken out on colour and go too wishy-washy, but I also don't want to be surrounded by something outrageous. Perhaps I should stick with the snot yellow I've already got. Oddly, it matches my mismatched, second-hand furniture and stuff. :)

You can see my knitting all over the place:

At the moment, I want to do something quite outrageous with my paint, etc.! But I'm so moody like that. As the light changes my tastes change. I'm too sensitive to environment, to light.

Right now I'm inspired by the red brick out on the street. I love the way the flowers in the pot on the one house blend with the colour of the brick.

Dudes, I'm really happy in my new place. I love the expansion that happens in the mind with change.

Everything is not perfect and I'm still a bit lonely, but I feel calm and hopeful. It's a divine feeling.

I was thinking about something this morning as writing to a friend: I don't want to think about what I can't do or what I haven't done or what will happen when I reach the end of it all. I just want to think about how to live. How to live. Each day to live. That's the thing. That's the "truc." That's the challenge.

C. bailed on me on going to the market. He's going to meet a girl. This is lucky, as I want to do less with him. I want to get out in the world. I'll go to the market and then a craft fair, and then I want to finish that fluffy purple sweater you see on the couch. It has lace and short sleeves. It was hell to knit. I'm finishing the first sleeve right now and then I'll do the second sleeve tonight. Fortunately, it doesn't require much finishing beyond stitching the seams. Cute, no? It's a miraculous yarn because although it is very airy and fine, it is incredible warm. It has a fuzzy "loft" that is like a cloud. Plus it's purple! The lilac sweater on the chair is a different one that I am making to go over shirts for work in the winter. It's thicker and warmer.

Dudes, I really am so lucky. I know that. I hate my career - that's the honest truth - but I know that i have a good situation and the tools to change and change it. I am appreciative. I hope you, too, find joy and peace today. Love and warm wishes!

11:20 a.m. - 2009-11-15

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