enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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the physical crash

Well, the crash came.

Not an emotional crash - I'm still hunky dory - but a physical one. I guess the trip, the cold during the trip, the move...and I was out like a light on the sofa last night.

I actually did go out at one point to buy some juice, but the store at the corner was closed and I did not have the energy to walk another block. :)

Also, it seems to be winter here! I am just waiting for the snow. It was so cold when I went out last night! And windy! And I have to admit that I was wearing my winter coat OVER my red fleece pyjamas (one good thing about being in Canada - if I went out in pyjamas in Italy I am sure I would be ordered to leave the country :))

Speaking on relatively the same subject, it has occurred to me lately to be thankful for being Canadian. It's really the fact that I was born Canadian that has given me the opportunity to travel and to go repeatedly to Florence. Everything - the free education, health care, reliable services, security of pensions, honest people, etc. - is to what I owe my good fortune in being a secure, healthy person free to roam and experience the world. I ought to be more grateful for that. I could have been born elsewhere.

So thank you, Canada! I feel guilty for wanting to leave you for artier shores. You are kind and just.

One thing I like about my neighbourhood is that it is red brick Victorians. At four storeys, my building is the highest one around. I look out the window and see the golden light glowing on the red brick of the surrounding neighbourhood.

It reminds me of Gu3lph, where my mom grew up. A small university town, Gu3lph, like many small places in Southern Ontario, has a Scottish settler history. It has its regal houses from the 19th century. These days it has a granola culture, in part supplied by the university there. I like it. I haven't been back there in a while.

Ottawa is starting to grow on me. If only I could find some actual friends I liked here. I really haven't met very many. Annie is great, and so is Angie, but the first is busy with her boyfriend and I differ from her significantly on the point of gossip. Angie has a little boy and so is not available much.

One odd thing is that I haven't heard from the woman with the apartment in Florence in a really long time. She's always seemed moody, and I heard that her sister at 46 just had twins with whom she is helping, and she seems to always be having issues with her boyfriend, but I haven't been invited to anything by her recently. I can't imagine that I did anything. I've hardly spoken with her in the last two months except in passing. I have a feeling that it is because the guys she was trying to set me up with have found girlfriends, which would make it awkward.

To be honest, I don't think we had much in common, anyhow. She's not really interested in art and seems to know little about it. It's rather surprising that she chose to buy in Florence. I think she just likes Europe. To each his own.

Yes, Ottawa is a strange town.

I'm liking my colleagues more and more though. The men I work with are all family men and very, very nice. I appreciate their strengths, even though we don't understand each other's goals and lifestyles.

Well, I suppose I understand their lifestyle. Had I met someone wonderful and been ready to be married at some point, I am sure that I would have married and had at least one child. And that would have been nice. But that is not how things worked out. I've had work to do on myself. I'm grateful for steady progress.

And finding someone to match me is a little bit difficult. I've always been a bit different. Anyhow...

It feels good to be rested! And to have time to linger in my apartment before work. I discovered yesterday that yes, indeed, I only really need an extra ten minutes to walk to work now. I made it in by 9:30 yesterday in spite of staying at home past 9! What a wonderful life!

Sorry - no substance here. Just wandering through the rooms of my mind. I really need to remember to buy a new mouse...this one is so sticky..

6:31 a.m. - 2009-11-04

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