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enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Smashing bird

Hey dudes,

I thought of writing earlier this weekend, but I've been very busy.

I'm so solid these days. Nothing purturbs me. It's funny to see, because C. is so jumpy right now. I spent most of the weekend talking him down. I think on the whole he's going to be OK, but he's definitely going through a patch. And he's terribly stubborn - I don't think I can get him to see a counsellor.

So..yesterday I went to yoga and then came home to work on my apartment. I was worried about the packing, but as it turns out I'm the rarest of birds: I have LESS than I thought I had. I started packing and my kitchen is more than half packed already. I've packed my electronics, the coats and things from the front closet, and half of my books.

That's the only funny thing: I have too many books. I started packing the books and already I have something like 25 boxes of them. Twenty-five BOXES! ACK! I'm afraid I'm going to be one of those old spinster ladies who instead of living with cat excrement or being suffocated under her Roy@l Doulton figurines, will be crushed by a falling book case.

Seriously. Who needs that many books. Perhaps I should start my own lending library!! I heard the most excellent story on the radio the other day. Norman B3thune, whom you won't know but who is a very famous Canadian doctor and humanist, had book plates that he put into his books as follows: "This book belongs to N. B3thune and his friends."

Super!

So that's about it.

Last night I went out for dinner with my friends. They must have enjoyed my company, as they insisted on paying for dinner and they also insist on helping with my move. I thought that this was incredibly generous, given that they recently bought a house and moved and didn't mention the moving date. I therefore didn't know when they were moving and didn't have a chance to offer to help. So I'm going to have to do something nice in return.

So last night was fun. I then came home and knitted far into the night (rather obsessed with making sweaters, but I love it). This morning I joined C. to meet our Czech friend at a cafe for breakfast, but unfortunately said friend slept through his alarm and didn't show up.

C. and I then subsequently went to the mall. We went to an expensive men's shop and C., for the first time in his life, bought some clothes. C's mother still buys all of his shirts and he has suddely decided that he needs to start taking responsibility for himself. He'd been walking around in a fleece jacket, even with his suits, so he bought a nice trench, a polo shirt for going out, and a very nice pair of shoes. I absolutely approved, and I'm going to buy him a beautiful scarf in Italy, but I was concerned that he was trying to paper over anxiety with a new look. Trust me, I understand this. Thank God I have graduated from translating insecurity into clothes. I hated that about myself. I think I've finally struck a balance. I buy only good investment pieces - and only a few each season - and make do with the old for everything else.

Anyhow. I think that the C. dude is OK. He has some work to do though. On some level I think he has some deeper questions to ask. I believe that he really does want to stay in Canada, but I also believe that he is not sure about what his future holds. Now that he has finished with the Ph.D., he doesn't have a distraction from thinking about whether he wants to get married, whether he wants to have kids, or whether he some day wants to live in Europe again. There are big questions looming. He admits that in part he wants to be here because his mother is very controlling and he needs to be away from that. But it's always tricky.

Well...I'm rambling. I'm late in making my Thanksgiving feast. I was going to do it today, but the weekend got away from me. What I'm going to do is make the pies tonight and the turkey tomorrow. I bought a nice free-range, grain-fed organic birdie and will make a modest feast tomorrow. Should be nice. I love Thanksgiving. Next year I'll do a do with friends. I was invited to a gathering with friends for today, but I didn't feel like all of the noise and bustle and planning. My mother in fact also invited me, which was nice. I didn't want to drive down there.

That's all for me. I'm going to knit a bit and then run...and then pie-make. Pumpkin pie is just about my favourite dessert ever. Ever. With whipped cream, of course.

Happy Day!

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2:35 p.m. - 2009-10-11

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