enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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A little bit grumpy and tired. I think it's that time of the month. :)

I'm not sure that drawing class is good for me!! So many self-flagellating people!

I mean, I looked good there. When I'm drawing I don't get upset about it not being good. I'm there to learn.

So many of the people were going on about how not good their drawing was! It was horrible.

Well, there was one exception. Some new middle-aged dude showed up and sat beside me. It was apparent that HE thought that he was good. He thought that he was the cat's meow. I made a point of not looking at his drawing. At one point I think he was looking over at me and he chuckled a bit. What an idiot! I was quite happy when the teacher came over and told him that his looked like a caricature! :)

Oh my.

Things are not going that well at work at the moment. I feel quite worried about my boss's attitude and today I had difficulty concentrating.

This will pass.

I think it's hormones. And I'm tired. I woke up very early again today and so didn't get enough sleep...again.

I feel better about the apartment though. I'm trying not to permit old fears to leap up - about not having my job, being able to afford my apartment. You know, the irrational fears.

I did too much emailing today in the morning, however, because I was distracted. I stayed late at work though, so I made up for it.

Sometimes it's difficult to focus, don't you find?

What else?

Hmm...

Oh! The maharaja ball was sold out. The girl didn't arrange things in time. No biggie. She sent me a list of "singles" events though. I would never go to such things, but since she wants to go to a pub thing I will go with her. There are other events listed that you pay for though, and the most egregious of these were being offered by a company called "m33t market adventures." Isn't that the most horrible name ever? Could you see me going to something like that!??? Honestly, at the moment I have no interest in men. Not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm more worried about work and house and all the other stuff. Dating just doesn't seem important. The confidence wanes...I suppose on some level I don't feel attractive as a result. And what's the point? I don't ever meet anyone of interest anyhow.

Well, that sounds gloomy. Let's try to look on the positive side of things, shall we?

XO

9:00 p.m. - 2009-09-22

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