enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Things bugging me

It's funny. I find I've already burned out on the week! Bring on the weekend, please!

I don't really feel like working today.

It's quite a nice day though. It's weird, transitional weather at the same time. I am quite cold. One doesn't want to wear full tights when it's sunny, but one also doesn't want to go bare-legged. I don't really like transitional dressing. Partly, I'm sitting on my hands because I don't want to spend a fortune buying new boots, tights, pants. I still don't have any dress pants that fit, but someone gave me a coupon that I"m going to try to redeem today. It's not my usual approach to shopping (I believe in buying good things, once), but lately I've not wanted to spend any money. I keep on thinking about overconsumption, waste, etc. I want to keep my life as simple as possible, even if it doesn't exactly make sense.

Do you know why in particular I get irritated with the fashion industry/celebrities? It's that they always wear new clothes. They never (or rarely) rewear anything. I mean, I'm sure that some do, but mostly they don't. I realize that the designers are suffering lately and you have therefore a lack of opportunity to be creative, so the celebrities and fashionistas wearing new things helps to keep the industry afloat. But...

I'm quite conflicted on this, and clearly hypocritical. I love the aesthetic. I love beautiful clothes. I LOOOOVE beautiful fabrics. So of course I'm invested in designers and others being able to create.

But I just can't take the whole consumerist culture. I cleaned out my closet this summer and so now I have a few good skirts, my work blouses, a bunch of t-shirts (no point in throwing out t-shirts), and three pairs of jeans. I wear the same two pairs of shoes to work all of the time. I have a couple of pairs of dress pumps and a few dresses for more dressy occasions. I have one good short coat and one good long coat. I have an old trench that I really ought to replace but am too cheap to address. And finally, I have a good pair of winter boots and three pairs of high-heeled boots (one the purple boots that I bought cheaply in Italy last year).

I already feel as though I have too much. How much do we need?

Maybe what I really need is the feeling that I'm returning to handmade things. I love the idea of having a few good pairs of shoes made by a real person. Likewise with the dresses and skirts. I've decided to knit all of my own sweaters this winter. I can knit and finish garments very well, so hopefully I won't look like the crazy professional wearing her grandma's knits. It will be interesting to see how this goes. I simply do not want to buy new things.

Anyhow. I don't know if this is about guilt - I would historically have said so - but I would say that it feels more like disgust with our overall society and its tendency towards the disposable. I really could not shop at places like the low-cost fashion knock-off stores that shall remain nameless, because I can't stand low-quality, mass-produced goods. It's a real dilemma; they're almost impossible to avoid.

Anyohw...that turned into a rant. I need to go to work. So have a great day!!

XO

OH! PS I was amazed that the Yale murder was reported on CBC this morning. When I was reading the (front page) article on the murder in the NYT I noted that many people were objecting to the article in the comments section. Their argument was that although her murder is incredibly sad, young people from lower socioeconomic strata are murdered every day and don't received front-page treatment or certainly international reporting. It's a difficult issue. They felt that she was getting the treatment because she was young, pretty, and an ivy-leaguer.

I take their point, although I don't want to be too harsh on this. We hear very little about missing and disappeared aboriginal women, for example. I'm not sure why the Yale murder was news here. So many things in the world are out of proportion. We mourn the unjust deaths of rich western people and yet few of us mourned the nearly 1 million innocent people who were slaughtered in Rwanda. It's not easy to be alive, and it's not easy to identify with people not of our pedigree, so to speak.

Anyhow. Too much sadness in the world. I am going to try not to sink into it today.

9:01 a.m. - 2009-09-17

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