enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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The peace comes dropping slow. I have three Innisfre3s!

I had a lovely day today.

I was just being.

Nothing earth shattering happened and still I felt joyful. But those are the best days, aren't they? They're the days that tell you that you're on the right track.

At lunch I bought a cup of fresh carrot juice with ginger and walked up to Parliament to stare into the eternal flame. :) And I'm one of the people keeping that flame burning! :)

It was nice.

I got a good amount of work done. I also had a meeting in which I found myself being really sharp and effective. I thought about it and realized that it's because I was feeling absolutely no anxiety. I mean, ding ding ding ding! No anxiety!

It was good. I felt like myself.

I emailed my mother and that wasn't all that fulfilling, but I'm finding that I don't take it personally anymore. She is what she is and she'll never give me the nurturance that I deserve. For whatever reason, she's not able to support me in being happy as she's not happy herself. I think that parents go either way, or at least I guess that it's so: they want their kids to have better lives than they did; or they can't bear to see their kids with what they lacked. My mother's the latter.

So that's OK. Too bad for her. But it reminds me of how extra-super-critical it is for me to be hypervigilant and give an extra dose of nurturance to myself. It's my duty to myself.

I also ran into that icky flirty girl who has been giving me the cold shoulder for months. Every time she passes by me she makes a horrible smirky face and sashays away. Today she was wearing what I could only term "hooker" pumps. The great thing is that I was able to stop myself and not feel angry or irritated; instead, I stopped and thought to myself to remember that why she's doing it. I've learned lately that indeed the world is full of treachery - people will try to build themselves up at your expense...if you let them. So then I let it go.

So all told...bon. I have a lunch date tomorrow and then a movie date tomorrow night. Cycling Wednesday. And a lunch date on Saturday and again a movie date Saturday night. It's shaping up to be a pleasant week. Also, Annie dropped by to leave cookies for me. I need to bake something and do that for her. It was sweet. The secretary is giving me the French newspapers at the end of the day, so that I can continue practising my French.

Also, my landlord called me at work and said that he's coming by to put in my air conditioning unit tomorrow. He's also going to put a light or a burglar alarm on the second floor apartment so that I will feel extra safe. He said that I can call him at any time if I'm worried about safety or anything. So kind! I thank him for this.

I'll come back and post a couple of photos later. I wish I'd thought to take a picture of the eternal flame today, but I didn't - I was trying hard not to spill carrot juice all over my white blouse. :)

Hope you are well.

6:23 p.m. - 2009-08-17

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