enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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It's all about the self-care this weekend.

I think I might be getting better at this self-nurture thing.

I went to yoga, which I really enjoyed. I was very smiley and the great thing about being smiley is that everyone is immediately smiley back at you.

Before yoga, as well, I'd put on some music and started dancing around, for no particular reason other than that I was moved to do it.

After yoga I went for a quick lunch with Annie and C. I had a chocolate milkshake (shared with Annie, actually). Yummy.

And then C. and I walked down to the art supply store, where I bought some charcoal and an eraser thingie and some pencils. I didn't have to think about it or belabour it; I knew exactly what I wanted.

Then I rushed off to get my hair cut.
Nothing eventful there, only I decided that I AM going to cut my hair short the next time and maybe do some beige highlights, for fun. Just to see if maybe looking different and more elegant gives my confidence a shot in the arm. Because really, I need to talk to my colleague/acquaintance/friend about the friend she introduced to me at that party a month ago. I think that no matter what I would have given him the impression that I wasn't interested. I need to tell her that that wasn't the case, because in fact I *would* be interested in getting to know that guy a bit better. I really need to just get out of my pride and go ahead and say something, because the more I think of it the more I think that I came across as a bit aloof and probably even silly, and he seemed a little bit shy. And my friend had told him that I used to be a competitive marathon runner (and he was not a "fit" kind of guy). Gulp. Why did she do that? I've also learned that it is NEVER a good idea to permit anyone to TELL ANYONE whom I've just met that I was once engaged to an Olympic athlete. Do you never want me to get a date again, friends??? In any event I can't go back and improve my social skills (those need work, anyhow), and what's the worst thing that can happen? He says, "Not interested." Big deal. Why does that get built up to be something earth shattering?

Do you know what got me thinking about this?

Yesterday, I was in my office at about 4:30, having set up the social at work.

Our computer scientist was in his office just across from mine, with his girlfriend. I heard him say, "Just ask EB."

But his girlfriend, a young departmental recruit, was clearly too shy or intimidated by me to ask. I saw her slink out of his office, with a furtive and shy glance at me.

I had no idea that I was that scary!

Seriously! People are afraid of me!

Not good, people!

So anyhow.

Here's the best thing: I just went out and bought myself a lovely plant and a pretty lilac pot to put it in, AND I bought myself the most beautiful bouquet (and slightly expensive, breaking my tight budget of late) of pale pink antique roses and hydrangeas. Yes, I am worth it!

And so are you.

Love and hugs.

4:59 p.m. - 2009-08-15

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