enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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It has been so long. But I can make it a bit longer.

I know, my life is so interesting that you can't wait until I write again!

I'm trying to dig myself out of the sadness that I've felt today. I'm succeeding. Ultimately, I know that it's a choice to stop ruminating. There IS a switch, no matter what anyone says. We are not forced to think certain thoughts over and over again.

I tried also to go easy on myself today. I went for a walk at lunch. I tried to stay focused on work when in my office. It mostly worked.

Still, I had moments of extreme sadness and disappointment in myself. Those are bound to happen. I'll take them as they come.

And if I'm EVER going to have a great boyfriend again, I've got to be coming from a position of strength and self-compassion, and so let's get on with that.

I will say that the drawing is going to help. I sat down and lost myself in it last night. The hard part for me is sitting down in the first place; after that the pleasure takes over. It's lovely to know that that is there. It's better than drugs, better than running, better than food. Absorption and brain food. Thank goodness for these.

I also did a nice thing for myself today by buying the new Kim Hargreaves knitting book Precious. I love some of the designs in it. I'm funny with my knitting books - I look at them over and over and over again. They give me pleasure, even years afterward, even if I never end up making more than a few pieces from them.

I know that quotable quotes are extremely cheesy, but I saw this one today and it helped me: "Obstacles are those frightening things that become visible when we take our eyes off our goals." - H3nry Ford

If I zero in on the truth, my only goal in life is to become a more well-rounded, more peaceful and spiritual human being. This is totally achievable, I like to think, in spite of appearances to the contrary. Everything else ought to be chucked.

6:19 p.m. - 2009-08-14

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other diaries:

stepfordtart
ohell
awittykitty
annanotbob
manfromvenus
smartypants
fifidellabon
hungryghost
hissandtell