enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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And she puts her foot in it....again.

I'm up, finally.

I had a wonderful sleep. I awoke with the feeling of having overslept, actually, which I rather like. On a Sunday, anyhow.

It's grey and overcast and looks like rain. Really. Again. I think I'm the only person in Eastern Canada who is happy about this summer. Actually, I am not exactly happy. I understand that many people are losing business because of the water. So I'm sorry for that. But for me, the light is perfect. Soothing.

Yesterday really was a great day. My week sort of "starts" on Saturday morning, with my yoga class. My yoga teacher, in fact, told me this last week. She was away yesterday and we had a substitute, and the substitute repeated that our usual teacher thinks of this class as the start to her week. Nice. It's that nice of an atmosphere. It's really lovely.

Come to think of it, though, it's not my usual style. The studio is very sunny and with plants and so on. It's white with smooth hardwood flooring. It's very fresh. It has windows all around and since it's way above street level all you can see outside is tree tops. When a storm picks up and it rains you can hear and see out of the corner of your eye the violent swishing of the willows.

The funny thing is that yesterday we had a teacher who told us that she HAD been an A-type before yoga. She told us that she used to be able to scream up a blue storm. That she was angry. Funnily enough, she was sufficiently drill-sargeant-like that it was quite believeable. C. and I had a laugh about it afterwards. Myself, I didn't mind. I learned some new things from her about how postures can be done incorrectly, since she is so particular and rigorous. I liked it. I like it when someone improves my practise, makes me more present in my body, following the pathways of thought and energy through it.

I forgot to tell another story about the experimental film last night. Sadly, not many people showed up. C. and I think that this is because the weather was good and many people take vacations or are out on a patio somewhere in August. I was sorry though for the young film students. The executive director of the co-op had also had her sister make a huge pile of Trinidadian food. It was delicious. I enjoyed the event.

The only thing that marred the event for C. and I was that there was a strange hippie couple there who sometimes come to film events and eat all of the food. Really, the woman took the most massive portions and went back to the buffet at least 3 times. On the way out, C. was enraged, because we saw her pinching art supplies from a table in the lobby of the National Archives that had clearly been set up for a children's art activity. I mean, who steals from the National ARCHIVES??

I don't think it was a poverty thing at all. They had paid $24 dollars for the film event and are members of the Film Institute. They are quite repulsive though. I don't like people who are greedy.

But speaking of greedy, I got an email from Marco today and I must admit it made me happy. I know it is not good for me to correspond with him and we hadn't talked all of July, but I'm lonely and it was therefore a nice surprise to get a note from him today asking me about my life and telling me about his most recent tour. So whatever. I'm pathetic. I miss my Italian, cycling torturer.

I had a dream last night, as I awoke actually, about the journalist who never asked for my phone number. I'm trying to give up on that one. What's the point? I think I ruined that one all by myself. I said a whole bunch of things that probably made me seem standoffish or intimidating. Live and learn.

Ah well. The big problem that I have today is to figure out if I am going ot take a day off work and go to the Foreign Affairs interview on Wednesday. I feel really uncomfortable taking a day off work on such short notice and when my boss is on holiday. It seems risky and is not very professional. It's not my style.

Hmm...Always tricky. Why can't other people plan better? If they'd even given me three weeks' notice. But of course FA thinks it's God's gift and everyone wants to work there. And they're probably partly correct.

I posted this self-portrait yesterday, but I don't know if anyone saw it. I love it! It's from Italy last September. If you can believe it, in spite of everything, I don't think I'm going to go back to Italy in the fall. I want to, but on some level I want to save money more. Not sure why. I'll still take a nice trip at the latest when I go to London next April.

XO!

10:58 a.m. - 2009-08-09

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