enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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The end. For real.

I'm going to be locking up (shutting down, really) in a few hours, for good.

I just want to take the opportunity to say goodbye and to thank you for reading and commenting thoughtfully over the last few years.

What I've realized is that the impressions that people have of me are starting to become limiting. I'm ready to grow way beyond them. Although I know that they are meant kindly, I no longer want to be told things such as that I can sometimes seem gray! I'm realizing that a great deal of the impression that I've given has been a function of me putting myself down...to no good end. I take on responsibility for this myself. I accept that I'm ridiculously imperfect; at the same time I don't want to be trapped by these imperfections.

I need to accept that I'm ready to be different. I'm ready to think differently about myself and to not expect less from or for myself. I also do not want to find myself getting irritated with people who have become used to the impression that I've cultivated in cyberspace. I'm ready to be the best version of me, without the weights around my ankles.

You are many of you incredibly lovely and I wish you good fortune in everything that you do. Lots of love and hope and joy to you.

XO

1:13 p.m. - 2009-06-18

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