enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Embrace the quiet.

First, I hope you will read the "note to friends" that I posted last.

But I need to write more, today.

Last night, in spite of the mixed feelings in the beginning, I felt a bit of contentment. Late in the evening, I was staring up at the stars and I saw a plane in the clouds.

I love the way that when you see a plane you see the flickering of the wing lights. It's like a toy moving through the sky.

I thought of being on planes. I've been on many planes: more planes than I ever would have expected.

And when I'm sitting on planes I am often looking out at the wing lights flickering in the night. I'm thinking about where I came from. I'm thinking about where I'm going. And on very long flights, such as those over the Pacific, I'm thinking about how I'm not anywhere and not trapped by any time. (Not true, but bear with me.)

Very rarely am I standing around looking up at the sky. And very rarely am I thinking about airplanes. I am, however, often sitting around feeling small.

I felt small in a good way last night. I said a little thank you for all of the airplanes with little, flickering lights on the wings that have taken me to Asia, Australia, Europe. I said a little thank you to all of the airplanes that took me to Italy in the last year. I said another thank you for all of the last year. It was wonderful. It opened the cracks to let the light in. :) Painful cracks, to be sure.

But no regrets.

And then today I got an email from Marco. I'm happy to report that I did not feel anything at all sad when I read the email. I felt a kind of amused regard and affection. And a good dose of compassion, as well.

My house, yesterday:

The concert venue:

The concerts were free, and they passed little newspaper-wrapped presents around with balloons attached to them that the crowd had to unwrap and share with their neighbours:

And a too long taste of the music (Dani Mich3l; cool cricket noises at the end):

12:54 p.m. - 2009-06-13

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