enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Quick addendum

I thought to post this yesterday, but I was still too annoyed.

There were some interesting comments to the "Reprieve" piece that I posted yesterday. These two I enjoyed and found useful, particularly the latter:

1. I had this experience nearly three years ago, when I was diagnosed with lymphoma. After biopsy, it turned out I only had a severe case of mono caused by a rare virus. Still, I�d dropped to 115 lbs (at 5′7″), and the cancer diagnosis was very believable. After the pathologist called and said it was �just� mono, I returned to a life list that seemed to place every difficult goal in the distant future. I re-ordered the list. 3 years later, I�ve run two marathons, become a competent outdoorsperson and spent countless nights camping in the backcountry, and traveled all over the world. While doing these amazing things, I also met the love of my life.
What I�ve learned? The more you experience your dreams and goals, the more that keep coming. Reach for them now, everyone. Don�t wait for the cancer scare. You won�t regret it. Even if/when my euphoria fades, I have concrete experiences to reflect on and remember, appreciatively

2. I�ve talked about this subject often, and witnessed it first-hand. It is our self-made (in childhood) character structures that cause our lives to be repetitive and not fully gratifying. Logically, it would be the removal of said structures that could lead to fulfilling, spontaneous lives, right? Yes, but� no external event, regardless of how dramatic - a life-threatening illness, a tragic loss, falling in love or winning the lottery - can undo what we have created. Such events, however, can open a window to our souls temporarily, giving us a glimpse of what life can be like outside of the confines of our defenses. These �free samples from the Universe,� as I like to call them (�a glimpse of grace,� Tim Kreider calls them below), are opportunities to pursue the inner self-work necessary to keep the window open. It can be done, but it is hard work, much harder than being stabbed in the throat, as Tim was.

Sadly, Tim concludes what so many have: �It didn�t last, of course. You can�t feel grateful to be alive your whole life any more than you can stay passionately in love forever.�Yes, you can, Tim. It�s just not enough to almost die. You have to decide to do whatever it takes to get free and stay free. But it can be done.http://fullpermissionliving.blogspot.com/
� Peter Loffr3do

9:47 a.m. - 2009-06-09

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other diaries:

stepfordtart
ohell
awittykitty
annanotbob
manfromvenus
smartypants
fifidellabon
hungryghost
hissandtell