enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Find what you love and let everything else figure itself out.

I think the thing might be to start with what I know, and let everything else fall into place.

What I know is pretty simple.

I learned in Florence that the one thing I most want to do is learn to draw. The happiest hours I spent were the hours in the drawing studio. By far. I didn't notice the time flying by; it always ended too quickly.

It's kind of like when I write here. I don't find writing to be onerous. Of course I don't write well. But I do find it freeing.

So those are two things at which I find myself feeling happy.

I also feel happy on my bicycle.

None of these can be a career for me, but maybe the best thing is to pursue these things for now, wholeheartedly, and not worry about what will come of them or how I will move to Europe or how I will change my life to make it one that gels more with me. For now I am going to draw and write and ride. Hopefully the other stuff, the other decisions, will fall into place. Maybe these things are going to lead me to figure out what job to have and where to live.

And when I say draw, I have something very specific in mind. What I loved about my drawing class was that it was in the classical atelier tradition. That is always what I have found the most beautiful in art. Drawing from life, with rigour. I really want to do that. Here's the link to what I did. studio They offer a 60 hour course in September (2 weeks), but it is expensive. Maybe I should plan on doing their one month course next July (even though the weather there is HORRIBLE in July - I think the pollution and heat would kill me). Hmmm... I also, really, need to put some space between Marco and I, which makes a lag good. Fortunately, he and I have done little together IN Florence, and I'd be unlikely to ever run into him there, so I don't really think of him when I'm walking those streets. He's rarely there, really, except in the winter, and doesn't frequent the centre city. Phew. I would have been sad if I had had Florence somehow taken from me. I truly am in love with that city. I want to cycle out the back of it again, up through the hills that you see in the photo, which is what we did on Sunday, but by myself. I want to claim that city forever and a day for myself. I have always had a wonderful time when I have been there. This time, I met my lovely new friend Deb, who I think will become a permanent friend. She is looking at moving to Europe as well. How cool if we both ended up there, perhaps in London. For me, I think that Paris is more likely. Although I wouldn't scoff at London...

There is definitely no such atelier here in Ottawa, malheureusement. There must be something similar that I could do in France though...Hmm...Keep on with the French, apply for jobs, let it work itself out...The universe loves us, non? It will help us to find our way. Now, I must get ready to go to the bleakness that is my job. :)

7:39 a.m. - 2009-05-26

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

other diaries:

stepfordtart
ohell
awittykitty
annanotbob
manfromvenus
smartypants
fifidellabon
hungryghost
hissandtell