enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary
"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What goes up must come down...and vault back up again... Oh. So I must admit that I threw away today, for the most part. I was not in a good state. Very tired. And of course now that I'm confronted with the Marco "option" I'm struggling with it. I'll figure it out. I went shopping and, believe it or not, I could not find shoes I liked and that were comfortable and that fitted properly! In Italy! Can you believe it? I think I ought to lie down. I did sit in the garden of the hostel for a while to the pleasantness of birdsong and lovely flowers, until some GHASTLY (I wish you could hear Joan pronounce this word ;)) American girl sat down on the next bench with some guy she had just met and proceeded to speak crudely at the top of her register whilst drinking from a bottle of red wine. Kind of spoiled the atmosphere...I don't think the problem was exactly specific to her being American; more likely it was specific to her being about 25 and full of herself for backpacking alone and picking up boys! I ought to be feeling grateful and peaceful, but to be honest the bottom fell out today. I felt ugly and old. I don't know why that's the choice I always elect to sink into when I am tired and/or confronted with a weird man question :), but there you have it. Best to be honest. If my feet weren't so tired and bruised I would make my way out to San Miniato or to somewhere else for a wee drink. Somehow I think I need a drink. Perhaps I don't do well when I'm entirely on my own with these issues and questions. Perhaps I do better when I have the ladies around. Tomorrow, class begins anew. I am rather surprised that the vacation is only half way through, although I am sure that it will fly by from here on out. What a whirlwind. MFV might be correct that I will need a vacation from this vacation when I leave! So..enough of my bellyaching. I really ought to take myself out to some piazza to people watch or to drink a vino, ought I not? HOpe you are well. Many a fear is born of fatigue and loneliness, don't you know. This trip has been out of this world; one small dip won't kill me. I am really having a freak out though about whether I should go on Tuesday. On the one hand I don't want to miss my drawing; on the other hand a whole day of cycling and of getting this Marco thing out of my system would be good. The class is only 2 hours. Tricky. Very tricky. I just don't know. |7:29 p.m. - 2009-05-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ||||||
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