enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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And life goes on...

I just deleted the silly entries that I wrote earlier today.

There is no problem. The only problem is that I like to find things to beat myself up about, even though I am doing just fine. I have a life plan and I am living it out.

I've been trained in a habit of guilt. I need to break that. It's good to think about others and to realize how privileged you are, but it's also terrible to beat yourself up for giving some things to yourself.

I need to be fully conscious, of course, of what I'm doing and spending on. At the same time, as C. is always arguing, the money that I've spent in the last year or so on trips and courses and so on gave me the boost that I needed in order to succeed at my job. They were investments, so to speak, and I agree that they were necessary.

So today is a new day. I need to get over the guilty feelings that I have over the fact that I bought a pink dress and a white skirt.

Everything is great in my life, so why bring myself down? No need.

I have had a terrible headache today that is slowly abating (thankfully), so that has probably contributed.

At any rate, thank you for bearing with me! I'm a silly woman sometimes. And history leaves its imprint.

So! Off to the sweater of doom. I canned the party invitation as a result of the headache. A good curl-up will no doubt offer a balm. :)

Sigh...very tired of myself today. Do you know, my layout picture now makes me giggle? Each time I look at it I sing to myself, "Come and knock on my door." You know, the Three's Comp@ny theme song. Like so many kids in the 1970s and 80s...I watched way too much tv. Often in reruns and often when I wasn't supposed to be watching that stuff. Funny! :) Anyone else remember?

6:59 p.m. - 2009-05-02

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