enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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I can't quite believe that I live here.

Fantastic to be waking up to bright sunshine and spring skies. Am (about) to eat my breakfast with the window wide open.

(Hey - it's Canada and that's something!)

I was thinking yesterday about why we live here. I think we live here because it is a "safe" place. There are few natural disasters here. There was a bad ice storm a number of years ago and the Red River in Manitoba and another one in Quebec that I have forgotten sometimes flood. Occasionally in the west and in Northern Ontario there are serious forest fires.

But the climate here is such that most things don't get out of hand. So we suffer the cold and the ice and get for it 1) a safe disease environment; 2) virtually no poisonous creatures (OK one or two, but you'd be hard-pressed to meet them); and 3) a low probability of having to evacuate.

It's a country for risk averse people.

Well, I suppose it wasn't so when it was settled. We are the descendents of risk-taking people (more likely people who didn't have a choice, economically, but to lump it) who have become grandly risk-averse.

I sit on my ass in a lovernment job (the country's largest employer, in a town (the fourth largest city) that basically exists for lovernment!) because I was raised with my mother singing in my ear, "Pension! Pension! Pension!"

It is true. I'm not so proud of it. Hopefully I will find my way out of it. (Unlikely, as I am generally a useless and inadequately entrepreneurial person.) Artgnome suggested something entirely intriguing yesterday: that Ottawa is a community of artists.

This got me to thinking. There may indeed be a community of artists here simply because this is where you go to lobby for grants from the Canada Council for the Arts, and other things. Plus, it's close enough to Montreal if you're an anglo who could never hope to get a job THERE.

SO...more rambling. The C-meister made it back safely from the funeral he was attending. I thought of him last night at 11:30 and when he wasn't at home yet I could have panicked - I know what it's like to drive through the dark in the country in which he was driving; he does not - but I did not. I went to bed and was cool. I was not cool when I woke up thinking about it at 6:30 a.m., but fortunately the dear knows me too well and had emailed me when he had gotten in at 1 or so. Bon.

Work is really not going well at the moment. My mind is everywhere BUT on the project. Going away took me out of my stupor of concentration. Good and bad. Must focus and hammer through things before I depart for Italy. Difficult to believe that this departure is in three weeks. Equally difficult to believe that I will only have two weeks there.

Sorry...boring. I'm still not awake, and my tights are uncomfortable! Always have to yank them up! Horrible! Will have to switch from tights to pantyhose today. Will have to buy pantyhose. I hate pantyhose - more money down the drain, since I rip them by just looking at them - but it is getting to be that time of year. I wonder what it would feel like to wear silk stockings instead? :)

Bon. Happy Days!

8:52 a.m. - 2009-04-16

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