enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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In praise of women.

I am truly in a wonderful, peaceful mode at the moment. I'm sort of "spring cleaning" my life - tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth - and keeping only the genuine and kind energies and thoughts. Good.

I went to sleep WAAAAAY too late last night. Something about jetlag and a nightowl...I was knitting my pink sweater (which I am determined to finish for the Italy trip) and ended up correcting a mistake into the wee hours.

So this morning I had planned to meet C. at his apartment to take him to my yoga class. I figured that after 10 weeks my arm was finally ready for planking. I was mostly correct although I had to quit on the one-armed planking on that side. No biggie! It's coming along well.

Yoga class was great. My teacher remembered me and the class was not as full as usual because of the Easter weekend. I think that C. enjoyed it and got a good workout out of it.

Afterwards we had brunch with my depressed friend of two weeks ago. He seems to be doing better and we had an interesting conversation about animal cruelty and the contradictions and misunderstandings of vegetarianism. I've been thinking lately that I should be doing some serious thinking about volunteer work pertaining to the environment. It's important to commit to something. I'm starting up at the food bank again next Monday now that my arm is strong enough to lift crates, but this is a woefully inadequate commitment. Still another area of my life that I have yet to work out properly.

After brunch C. and I took advantage of the lovely sunlight to go for a walk and pick up some items. A girl whom C. likes has invited him to a party at her house tonight, so we went to the liquor store to pick up a nice bottle of wine. Afterwards we strolled through the market, through Parliament, etc., and I tried to take pictures to reflect a positive attitude towards Ottawa. I am going to do my best to be a "traveller" in my own city. I want to keep the open spirit that grows during travel and shrinks at home.

I also picked up a book at the bookstore, although I'll confess that it takes place in Italy. :)

I have a giant list of things I might do this summer. For some reason, kayaking is coming to the top of the list. I don't know what appeals to me about that. Will have to give it some thought.

I also asked a girl at work about both gardening supplies and cooking courses in Ottawa. She's going to send me some links. Effort has been made; projects have been initiated.

Oh! Another very interesting thing happened on Friday. A woman at work whom I quite like asked me for coffee. We were chatting at the social and I happened to mention that I am going to Italy for my "almost 40th birthday." This woman is always interested in my Italy trips and this time she was astonished that I am almost 40. I really don't get this - I see the tired look on my face, the wrinkles, the increasingly dull pigment of my hair, but others seem to still think that I am much younger.

At any rate, I am glad that she realizes now that I am only three years younger than she is, for immediately after the social she sent me an email inviting me to a coffee with another woman who works elsewhere in the building. This other woman has an apartment in Florence! I had heard about this woman, naturally, from others, but I didn't know anything about her. Apparently we have a great deal in common. I think it will be brilliant to meet up with another unmarried, childless woman of about my age (I think she's early forties), for I currently know none that I can think of (a couple of my single friends have even had children on their own).

More than this, I just love being around other women for a change. I have met some great women this year (including online and in person recently!). I'm loving the fact that I am going to see Joan again in four weeks, for example. She's basically that straight-talking auntie I always wished I'd had growing up. Joan is very special in that you never get the feeling when you're with her that she's in any way begrudging you your greater youth or power or whatever. She seems to like and derive joy from the strength of other women. I never once felt that I had to dumb down or diminish my life's experience in order not to step on her toes. She drew things out of me, with apparent interest on her part. And when I told her of my weaknesses and fears, she never once made me feel that she needed me to be weak in order to feel good about herself. Just a great person all around! I think of Joan as a role model. It clearly takes a lot of time and work at self-acceptance to be like that. I think she'd make a terrific personal coach or even personal shopper (Joan loves fashion).

Women power! Do you know, I've been very lucky in this regard. I've been privileged to know some amazing women. My first boss at my first professional job in the government, for example, was brilliant in this regard. She gave me some super-big chances. Among them were the opportunity to go out on assignments in Washington to major institutions. I also got to lead a project and write a paper that pushed higher up. There's probably been nothing more encouraging to my confidence in my potential than those two years or so that I spent working with that absolutely incredible woman. When she left us in the last job in which I was working with her, she took snapshots of each of us and presented us with these pics, framed, with a poem that she had written personally to each of us on the backs. Mine had a line in it that I will never forget: "For my future to be secure, may I one day see you as Canada's chief economist." How brilliant is it to have a powerful boss who yet champions the skills of other women?! I actually have a feeling that there are two women like that in the senior ranks in my department. They are always very supportive and kind when I have interactions with them. They give you the feeling that they've got your back. Which is necessary, unfortunately. I especially like the fact that these women are feminine yet strong and classy. My best guess would be that they have honking bullshit dectectors. I always see one of them running home after work, which is another cool fact. I am honoured to have them representing me.

At the moment I'm quite weary else I would post some of the photos taken today. Perhaps later I'll gather sufficient energy to do that.

6:19 p.m. - 2009-04-11

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