enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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The curmudgeon returns.

I've been a bit down in the last couple of days. It sort of hit me on Thursday.

I always feel down when I'm not sleeping well, so I know that this is likely the thing.

Not sure why I haven't been sleeping. Things are going well at work. I think it might be partly the feeling that I want things to happen. I have always needed mental stimulation, challenge and change. It's a disadvantage. It's probably the biggest obstacle to my happiness.

So this morning C. and I went for an hour-long run. That was nice. It's amazing to me that my body can run so much so soon. I haven't run all winter, and only twice or three times since I broke my arm on February 1, but I was out there passing groups of university students. We ran nearly 10 miles in a little bit over an hour. I shouldn't be able to run that fast. Those giant, ugly, man-muscle thighs of mine are good for something!

I don't have many talents in life. I do wonder why it is that running had to be one of them. It seems so unpoetic.

I am absolutely convinced that my grandmother was part aboriginal. She really looked it but she denied it until she was blue in the face. Still, her parents were off in the wilds at the turn of the century (her father was a headmaster emigrated from England). She also looks NOTHING like her sister. And I mean NOTHING. I get my skin that darkly tans from her (as much as I am pale - comforts me that there's a continuum of colour in humanity). But boy did I not get her cheek bones. She had the most marvelous cheek bones. Sigh. I will start to think of myself having had First Nations ancestors who were fleet and free in the forest! It's a nice thought. I am fascinated by First Nations cultures. They make me feel peaceful.

Oh! SPeaking of which, I have been invited to a wedding in the Yukon Territory in July!! i think I'm going to go! I have always wanted to go that far north (think Alaska, but less populated even). Oh the mighty rivers and tiny tundra flowers. I have always wanted to see those.

Ah so that's about it. I am going to do as BoXx said last night and allow beauty to save me. I am going to go out and buy some lovely flowers or at least a new plant for my apartment. That should perk me up.

12:01 p.m. - 2009-03-14

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