enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary
"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh
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The light of hope, faith, imagination and inspiration!
Esausto.
But ah well - I'm just not in complaining mode in my life anymore. I hope I never go there again. I don't want to ever feel again as though I am a "victim" of something, or entitled and not receiving, but rather want to feel as though I am taking 100% responsibility for everything in my life. That seems to be the answer that is going to make me happy. It seems to be a part of what I'm working through with respect to my job, financial position, and the likelihood that I won't be married and have a family.
My mother has always been a "victim" and a "complainer" - my strong feelings on the subject must come from a rejection of that model. I couldn't stand to hear her blame everyone else for...everything... and mope about things that were the result of her own decisions in life. It's easy to fall into that trap though, isn't it? I know that I have done so at times.Something very interesting and related has happened in the last few days. K. is still not speaking to me, except with a nod in passing, but she IS behaving differently. It is very noticeable. She seems professional in her manner these days, and also focused and determined in her work! I am not gloating about this for being happy to have been correct in my points; I honestly feel glad that in the long run I might have helped her to make something of her career.
I loved my Cainer horoscope for today:
Every decision we ever make, is reached on the basis of insufficient information. It doesn't matter how much research we do or how hard we think things through. We will never know the full story or see the complete picture. Why then, should we even bother going through the motions? Might it not make just as much sense for us to take a stab in the dark and hope for the best? Maybe. Or maybe it's not the dark that we should be informed by, but the light. The light of hope, faith, imagination and inspiration. Be guided by these.
|7:02 p.m. - 2009-03-11
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Come al solito - 2011-04-16 unfettered spending - 2011-04-15 How does it go? - 2011-04-14 Whirlwind. - 2011-04-13 bleak that flips over to daffodil - 2011-04-08 |