enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Who is that, you say?

If I disappear for a few days it's likely because my computer has died. The electrical on my computer is giving me trouble again. Or maybe my apartment is just about to explode or something.

Not sure. I'm the one desperately trying to start "old whitey" by lying on the carpet and clicking off and then clicking back on the "on" button to the power bar.

I know that at this point I should probably buy myself something new and slick to match my nice little screen, or maybe a lap top or something, but really...I'm old-fashioned about these things.

Use it up.
Wear it out.
Make it do.
Do without.

My mother had that cross-stitch on our den wall.

So for a while yet I'll be lying on the carpet staring into the "start" button looking for sparks (of life :)), and otherwise cursing.

Actually, I'm in a pretty good mood. Honestly, I'm in a GREAT mood today.

I started out still not feeling well and I will admit that I did have a low grade temperature today (was sweating all day today in my lilac turtleneck :)), but I don't know, things rolled along.

I have so many interesting things to say about work today, and I just wrote them down, but caution is better.

Tomorrow is a VERY important day in Canada. In fact, this entire week will be important. We will wait and see. I'm sure that none of you are interested so I won't bore you with the details. If we make it into your paper in mid-week you'll know why... :)

Oh well.

Soo...Hope you are all well.

Let me see if I can think of something else...Oh! The lovely piece that I heard yesterday on the Indian woman who wrote the book at age 80 about her "unwritten life" is unfortunately in a broadcast that is several hours long. The podcast is available, however, if you want to hear it. Here's the linkola: A woman of no consequence

I will see if I can find some links to some articles. Here's a nice blog post on science and religion: blog science

Right now, I am going to eat a giant bowl of cereal with blueberries and then set about making some curry wraps.

A couple of short notes:
So the day started quite well. Just as I was getting unpacked at my desk the Deputy Sinister came by to shake our hands and thank us for our hard work. That was nice. I've had a soft spot for the guy ever since I found out that he's a serious, serious introvert. That's one win for the old Gipp3r. Plus, I'm kind of a big fan of kindly dudes who look like a handsome version of Lesli3 Nielson, with a full head of white hair.

Also, I started thinking about books and archives again and I was thinking about becoming an archivist with the qualification that I already have, perhaps restoring books. I even daydreamed my way all the way over to England to work in the Bodleian Library at Oxford. But then I realized that the obstacles to that would be too great and that I'd get pissed off at all of the electronic stuff that one would have to do in working in ANY but one of the great rare books collections in the great world libraries. That's what I hated about libraries and library training. It's really never again going to be about books, except in very small bites. It's going to be about transference between media, negotiation nd management of databases (sold by huge companies for HUGE $$$ UGH), making resources available through electronic means to wide audiences (wholeheartedly approve, love Project Gut3nberg and others, but would rather work as a volunteer on those), yadda yadda.

I realized pretty quickly into library studies that what I love is the physical OBJECTS.

Also, I'm WAYYY too nosy and inquisitive (and in fact, if truth be told, ACQUISITIVE) about the facts and information IN the books. I want to sleuth my way and draw a gorgeous, sinuous line between these objets. I want to find those little written notes in the margins of books that connect the dots of history.

So I had an extremely rational conversation with myself in my office (in my head, don't worry - not talking to my walls or anything) this afternoon. I realized, quite comfortably, that I don't really want to be an archivist or a librarian. What I want to be - which is what I wanted to be for my entire childhood - is a kind of historian, human geographer, cultural anthropologist - and write books. I'm just too full of myself to sit by the sidelines and let OTHER people put together all of the stories of history.

So how DO I get to do these things and what are my prospects? Not particularly great, I realize, but I'm thinking very seriously of at least looking into how I could get into a part-time Ph.D. in History. Seems a shame not to take advantage of the fact that I live in the NATION'S CAPITAL.

Oh and I'd be more than happy to move to another country to do historical or other research in their archives. Really, if I had to be perfectly honest, in the crazy way that I am honest, I want to be MARGARET VISS3R. Her Ph.D. was in Classics. At the University of Toronto. Unfortunately she is now retired and lives in Barc3lona. Otherwise I would have called her up. My other favourite historian also retired recently. I'm sure I can find another favourite one though if I try hard enough.

I'm not going to quit my job any time soon, don't worry. Well, unless I find an Italian count who will support my wicked, self-indulgent pursuits.

Oh! I got a note from the poet scientist. Long time no hear.

I wish I could recreate the mental peace that I feel today and carry it forward. It's so elusive.

What the hell is wrong with me? Whack whack (hitting my head). I have such a great life. Note to self: STOP FOCUSING ON WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE!!! And if you want to know how insane I am...I'll tell you that I never gave up the microdata set that I collected on my own for my two-thirds written Economics dissertation, which is basically a migration dataset of women within the North American labour market. Very valuable...and could make a nice little history thesis...Yes, I am a nutter. Really, you have no idea. OK, you have some idea, if you've read this diary before...One day I'm going to look back and wonder why I even WANTED a boyfriend, anyhow? (OK, a permanent boyfriend; the occasional boyfriend is a treat. I might just be from the Robert R3dford in Out of Afric@ school of relationships. :))

7:19 p.m. - 2009-01-26

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