enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm great. Yes I am. Do you really start to believe this stuff if you say it often?

I'm totally loving my horoscope this week. How great is this (from frewillastrol0gy, second only to Mr. Ca!ner :)):

This week's advice comes to you entirely from the great jazz pianist and composer, Thelonious Monk. It all happens to be in perfect alignment with your astrological omens. 1. "Don't play everything or every time. Let some things go by. What you don't play can be more important than what you do play." 2. "A note can be as small as a pin or as big as the world; it depends on your imagination." 3. "Whatever you think can't be done, somebody will come along and do it." 4. "A genius is the one most like himself."

I probably shouldn't write. I mean, what could top a hot pink dress and Italian boots? ;-)

The window of opportunity for such dressing has passed. Tonight the temperature will plunge to -26.

Apparently we're in for a few cold days.

So...turtleneck it is tomorrow.

I did a good grocery shop tonight and I have a chicken in the oven. How comforting!

I must be honest: I do not feel good at work right now. Already the feelings of annoyance and exclusion are starting again. Today, I caught the senior economist making a big mistake. I blurted it out to him and him alone, saved his ass, and of course he did not tell the boss and so I did not get credit.

Comme d'habitude.

I think I might be getting better at keeping my general feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction with work separate from everything else, however, because I DO feel that I am getting ready to date. I also DO feel unapologetic for who I am.

In fact, I think that what I am is pretty good! For one thing, I am very fun to travel with. I'm very accomodating to others, but not to my own detriment. I know how to have fun, when to leave and when to stay, and generally I'm a good time. The people I meet always seem to enjoy my company. Plus I'm open to life. So many people seem girded and guarded by rules. I live within rules, but I also break many of the ones to which I'd be expected to live. Hmmm..

I was thinking about my Italy photos a little while ago. It seems that there are always wonderful moments that you don't think to videotape but wish you had. FOr example, I wish I'd taped the wonderful Gustavo in Venice - whilst cooking, over dinner, when we sat down on the couch later on to have a chat. He was disappointed when I left a day early, since "EB, I was counting on you to stay. You are good to talk to!"

He was fun. He got it. I liked him. So did K. and P. when they came for dinner one night. He's the epitome of cool, even though he looks like a porn star and has a live-in Japanese girlfriend whom he met a month ago and who speaks none of the languages spoken by him!?

She was cute. They cleaned up together.

So...

I don't know what else I meant to say. I did capture one completely transcendent moment in Florence on video. It was early in the morning and I was waiting for the train. The video doesn't capture the feeling that I had standing in the cool openness of the train station, waiting for the board to update, listening to the birds coo, knowing that I was departing on yet another journey.

Maybe it's the transitions that I like, the in between spaces.

You know, if I have any painful remorse over who I am in life, it's that I'm not an innovator. I was just listening to a guy on the radio critiquing the NA automakers for being behind the times. But have you ever built a clean, green vehicle, dude?

I feel rather useless in life. I am not a creator, an innovator, making the world a better place. I observe the world, and I don't even do anything productive with that.

What a strange job I have. We're crazy busy right now. We're always crazy busy in January, because the National Fudge It gets presented in the winter. This year it's early (Jan. 27), and the government's life or death hinges on it (sort of). Interesting.

So I have a cyclical job. I'm just a small cog in on a big wheel. Odd. Not a great feeling. But I suppose that someone has to get the numbers right for the place to take money in and spend it on the people. I suppose.

Well, I am going to curl up with a cup of hot tea. I'm being lazy about the photos. I'll see if I can post one or two for your (hopeful) enjoyment.

Me being a complete idiot in the pantheon. I was sick. :) I normally will not take pictures in churches, but they are allowed (without flash) in there.

Flying over the Swiss alps from Zurich to Florence and glorying in the sunrise:

Taking my traditional first walk in Florence, up to San Min!ato:

MY bed in the hostel in Venice. Totally apropos, methinks. ;-)

Venice really doesn't need words, does it?

This little tot came riding towards me in the mist near the Adriatic:

Very italiano:

I knew I was in for an experience when I got to the hostel and saw the plate with the hostel name followed by the words "The five star."

Me in Rome from a weird height holding a giant old-lady bag. I have no idea what I'm laughing about. Probably the pose and the old lady bag. Lady who lunches...

9:53 p.m. - 2009-01-13

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

other diaries:

stepfordtart
ohell
awittykitty
annanotbob
manfromvenus
smartypants
fifidellabon
hungryghost
hissandtell