enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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A bit of a STRESSFUL night.

Hmm...So things were shaping up to end wonderfully this week, but then my landlord disappeared.

We were supposed to go to the concert tonight, so I showed up early at his apartment. He wasn't there, so I waited around a little bit and then walked over to the concert hall thinking that perhaps we had had our wires crossed and were meant to meet there. His car is in the driveway, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything - his son had dropped him off at the film fest the week before.

He didn't show up at the concert hall, so I came home and called his son. His son wasn't there and so I left a message.

Unfortunately I don't have keys to the landlord's apartment, so I'm sitting here waiting to see if his son calls. I mean, I suppose that he *could* be in there, but the apartment is totally dark and quiet and he always has the tv on when he is at home, as well as a couple of lights that are right by the window.

I'm wondering now if perhaps something happened in his family that took him away. That seems a possibility. He has five children and several grandchildren.

At any rate, I do hope that everything is OK. I was initially quite panicked but then I realized that there is nothing that I can do. I think it's unlikely that he is in his apartment. Even when he goes to sleep I he leaves the light on, as there is always one on in the window when he is there, so I don't think that he is there at all.

ANYHOW...

So I'm trying to keep my mind off of thinking negatively about this.

Dear Fifi gave me the letter "S" to play with, so here goes:

S...hmmm...

What to start with...

How about...

SNOW! I do love snow. I don't like to be cold and wet, but I love snow. I love the sound of it when it is firm but still wet and crunching under my feet as I run along the canal in the dark. I love deep, fluffy snow that develops a thin, crackly layer on top, that one can stomp through in giant, bounding strides. I love wet snow that makes perfect snowballs with which to nail my brothers and that otherwise is perfect for making snow houses with long entry ways and thick, insulating roofs...you know, igloos! (I made a good one once; I'll have to find a picture.) :) I love soft, feathery snow that drifts and floats about like the contents of a torn pillow! And of course I love SNOWFLAKES that melt on my nose and eyelashes.

I was going to write next that of course one must love SUN. I don't really love sun. How weird! I do love bright, sunny days in winter, and I like bright, sunny days in SPRING (my favourite season!). But I don't like very hot and sunny days, as the sun gives me a headache. I don't like wearing "sunnies." I like sunny days at SUNRISE and SUNSET mostly, really. Please don't tell my imaginary Italian boyfriends that I am not a sun goddess! I am an ICE COUNTSSSSS

SANS SOUCI:

Sans souci in French means "without care." There's a more famous Sans Souci in France, of course, but the one that I love is a rocky, wind-whipped island out in Georgian Bay as one enters the open water. It is dark and austere and nature at its most emblematic rawness. It is a symbol of Canada to me.

Hmm...

OK. OK. I know. You would doubt my SANITY (which I also duly love, but only in SNIPPETS) if I did not say SEX. Of course, I like sex. I particularly love the Italian word for it ("sesso"). I looked that up in the travel dictionary quite quickly, of course. ;-) "I'd like SETTE SESSIONS of S3SSO, please!"

Um...

And how about SKIN. Soft skin. But of course. :)

And a near cousin: SENSUALITY. One of my favourite...principles. Cashmere. Belgian chocolate. Cashmere. Belgian chocolate. Oh and did I mention soft skin?

SERENDIPITY is also good. It is the share word that binds me to my friend C. (not THE C.) of twenty years. Whilst drunk in university we scrawled this in indelible ink on our kitchen wall.

And how about SAN MIN!ATO, SANT!SSIMA ANNUNZ!ATA and SAN M@RCO?

Don't be confused: I'm talking Fra' Angelico. M. is no saint.

God, who would want to date a saint, anyhow?

SINCERITY: Sincerity is very, very important to me. If you don't feel it, don't do it. If you don't believe it, don't say it.

SENSITIVITY: What more need be said?

SADNESS: Because without sadness you can't have truth. And without truth you can't be your full self. And what would be the point of that? Honest, open and embraced sorrow is the best teacher. It's the clean air cousin whom denial avoids.

SHORTBREAD. Easy enough that even an absentminded cook like me rarely screws it up. And because I just ate one.

Sleep well!

OH! I almost forgot SLEEP. TO sleep perchance to dream. YES!

Yes.

10:07 p.m. - 2008-12-12

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