enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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THings that make you go...mmm

So I deleted a couple of stupid entries. I think I was a bit testy earlier today.

Freshly-baked whole wheat bread and freshly-spread avocado are making a difference.

I actually received an email from M. just now, upon my return from work. Not sure how I feel about it. It is very sweet - I suppose what I would have been looking for. But I'm wondering if I should tell him that I'm disappointed that he hasn't followed through on any of the suggestions that he made when I was in Italy to meet somewhere (and I'm not talking about California). I also wonder why he didn't suggest that he could maybe call me to say "hi" when he was in North America.

Not sure. It seems as though I'm being a "woman" with the foregoing remarks. I did apparently tell him that I thought he should enjoy his friends in California, as you guys pointed out to me. He has also expressed quite clearly how he feels about getting involved with someone distant.

I suppose what I should do is just keep it light and occasionally exchange emails, but try to change my thinking about him. It's difficult. It shouldn't be so difficult...

Ah, whatever.

I actually had a good day today. The doc's appointment was good. I'm still feeling very focused and rational about work. I am looking forward to the film festival tomorrow. At the moment I'm debating about skipping Italian tonight. I'm so tired. I find it difficult to be excited about Italian TWICE in one week. Also, I had French class this morning and it was exceptionally boring. We have a new, exceptionally unmotivated teacher. I had to write debate arguments for and against flex hours.

UGH.

Tedium.

Mmmm...avocado. Well, I shall muse. I wish I had the balls to stay home tonight...but I've never been able to skip anything. My first boss at Foreign Affairs said to me one day, "You have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility." Thank god she wasn't in charge of the nation's finances. :)

5:55 p.m. - 2008-11-19

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