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enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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fun, fun, if a little bit of rain

HA HA You guys are terrific in encouraging me in my bad spending habits. :) Ha!

I still love the skirt so much. It is so soft it is like butter. It is grey wool with this wonderful draping in the front. Oh la la la la la. The jacket that I am debating about buying is black and SOOOOOO gorgeous. To be honest though, my reluctance in buying it is that it could NOT be worn outside in Canada for more than a week of the year, and inside given the dressed-down character of my office (read: poor taste) I would get STARES.

On the other hand, what is your salary for when you live frugally otherwise, do your best to share, and otherwise have no responsibilities?

By the way, I think I have pretty much decided that I am going to figure out how to become an art and book restorer. I am not kidding. I really am not. More on this later.

So I went to Rigoletto last night. It was absolutely terrific, although I had a less-good time than I had hoped, given that I was SOOOO fearful of coughing during the performance. Do you know that horrible feeling of having a scratchy throat and just waiting for the cough to erupt, and knowing that you cannot go anywhere? I did not want to ruin any of the performances, as the artists were literally abut 3 feet from me!

The other terrible thing that happened at the opera is that the people who were meant to sit beside me didn't show up. So they offered the seats to the other few people in the church (it is a very small venue - not sure, but maybe 50 people max). This couple put up their hands, but unfortunately they were extremely obese. I don't say this to in any way suggest that they were less deserving of the seats, but they were small chairs pushed flush against each other, so I was literally crushed between the woman to my left and the enormous man to my right who was taking up several inches of my own seat. So I had to sit for the entire performance feeling claustrophobic, with my arms wrapped in front of me, and trying not to cough. I thought at intermission of going to the seats that these people had vacated a few rows back, but I didn't want to hurt their feelings.

Anyhow! I still enjoyed the opera - Gilda was AWESOME, as was the Duccio. I just loved it. So worth the 24 Euro to see it. What a special experience.

So I feel so alive now that my cold is finally starting to dissipate. The weather here is terrible today, so I am going to take the opportunity to go into churches such as Santa Maria Novella to look at some frescos. There are very well-preserved ones by Ghirlandaio in that church. YEsterday, the lecture was on trecento (thirteenth century) painting techniques, by the cutest restorer woman who is currently restoring the Ognissanti crucifix by Giotto. Oh la la. I SO want to be her. She did her MA in restoration in Florence.

So I know that it would be difficult for me to become her, if not impossible, but I'll tell you something: they have a restoration master's program at Qu3en's University at Kingston, which is only a couple of hours from Ottawa. I don't know how great that program might be, but it's worth looking into. More likely, I think what I am going to try to do is figure out how to come to Europe (likely England, initially, as I shoudl have no problem finding a job as a labour economist and getting sponsored. Dang that I don't have an EU passport. My English ancestor came to North America in 1712. If anyone knows a European dude willing to take a wife of convenience...let me know. :) ). I don't know. The details will need to be worked out. And of course, I am no longer focusing on the HOW, but rather on the WHAT.

:)

Oh this is going to be FUN!

So much fun!

So what else?

Well the lecture was absolutely amazing and fascinating. I honestly am SO impressed with everything abuot the BI program. Some people - lucky ducks - are there for three months! When I come back here next year in April (I've decided to come back to take their studio lifedrawing and sculpting class from April 14 to May 8, if I can swing in financially (no cross country skis, or, uh, food this winter :).) And I think I'll arrange it so that I can take Italian in the mornings. Isn't this exciting?

Of course, Italian will be very important for study of the art history that I would need to do in order to do restoration.

So I know that you think I'm a crazy lady, but this vision is getting clearer and clearer.

So on to other things. I need to figure out if I am going to buy that jacket that I mentioned, or this WONDERFUL grey wool jersey dress that they had there as well. SO beautiful and definitely work appropriate with a jacket or cardigan. It is at this time that I realize that for sure I am in need of a decently rich boyfriend. :) I will probably resist buying the clothes, because I need to plan for next year's STUDY indulgence. It really is a useful thing that I don't even have a dog to support, and I haven't bought any furniture, or even framings for my pictures. And that my landlord loves me and hasn't raised my rent in two years. :)

I know: vanity, vanity.

The thing is though that I KNOW that if I do the restoration thing I will be returning to a life of absoulutely hand-to-mouth student living.

I've become convinced though that for all the money and the security that come attached, I simply cannot spend the next 30 years of my life doing the work that I am doing. I have not even made it to a year in my current job, and it feels like the LONGEST YEAR OF MY LIFE. I am not joking. It has been abject misery as far as the day to day of a year is concerned, and I feel such lucidity when I am here about the point to life. The point to life is not to end up with a mass of money at the age of 70 with which to go on cruises and learn to polka. It is not the point. I need to be more connected to my work. I need to do something tactile, because I love to work with my hands. And I need to do something that connects with my values. When I add to this my only strength as an economist - my attention to absolutely microscopic detail - I am simply made for fine handwork. I always have been. When I was a kid I was an outstanding knitter, embroiderer. When I was in university I made extra money by carving birds on the weekends (blue herons, BoXx). I have always been able to do that stuff, but I could never find the exact outlet. When I was in my archival studies classes I was blissfully happy and getting close.

Anyway. Enough about career changes. We will all wait and see, won't we?

:)

So in other news, the Australian woman is terrific. I wish that my mother were a little bit like her. She's so adventurous and she loves clothes/aesthetics, and she is patently in love with her own daughter, who lives in London. It has been a pleasure wandering the streets with her. I would say that she is probably about the age of my own mother, or slightly less, which would put her between 55 and 60. She has a wonderful energy. And she calls things straight up. So the fun thing is that she has invited me to take a day trip with her to Siena next week, so I think we are going to skip one of the history classes on sculptures for the pulpit and go. :)

OK. I really need to get some lozenges. I feel quite OK today but my throat is so scratchy and I am embarrassed to keep on coughing.

Hope you are all having fun, wherever you are.

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9:32 a.m. - 2008-09-19

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