enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Sleeping sitting up. :)

Oh my friends! I haven't been on the computer at all this weekend, as you can tell. It is so unlike me.

This morning, I woke up at 10:00 and lay in bed listening to the radio. An election WAS indeed called this morning. No surprise. So I was musing about that (and also about my lack of sleep). I got up at 10:30, C. called at 10:38, and we were out the door to go cycling by just after 11.

This is all good. The cycling was good. I took an allergy tablet this morning because I've had a very stuffy head for a few days - not good if I end up getting a sinus infection before Italia! - so I feel quite groggy now. It was OK during the ride but when I got home I got into a hot shower, which turned into a hot bath, and then I crawled into my bed for a long nap. I'm just up again now!

It feels a bit like a wasted day, but I do love listening to my body and taking it easy. Yesterday I was a busy little bee. I packed my bag for Italy. This is difficult for me, because I want to not take too much. I also, however, want to have enough choice in outfits so that I can dress up and feel really good when I am there.

I am going to La Boheme, for starters, on the 16th, so I wanted to bring something sophisticated for that. It's silly and vain, I know, but I do love dressing up and going to the theatre. I love and feel grateful for the honour and privilege of being able to have so much beauty in my life.

And of course I do hope that M. and I will go out for dinner a couple of times. I so loved his company the last time, and it would be great to put on a nice dress and go out and have a great, long conversation and maybe a walk with him. If not, it's OK. I know at least that we will do some lovely cycling.

So I packed my bag with too much stuff! My rule though is that I pack it and then I go back to it a couple of days later and check to see what is missing, and also remove about 20% of the stuff in it. I basically rethink and decide ruthlessly what I can absolutely do without. I was pretty pleased with what I packed the last time, but this time I want a few more nice things in there. Last time I walked around all the time in my walking shoes, but this time I want a couple of nice dresses and skirts and blouses and at least some wedges as well as heels to wear to the school and out for dinners.

Sorry, this is a boring entry!

I'm just so nappy tired!

The weather has turned cold and grey here, which is just as well. My apartment is now nice and cool, and sleeping last night was lovely.

I MUST finish that paper on income inequality patterns that I mentioned yesterday. I really don't see myself feeling clever enough to do this today, however, so I'm trying to decide how to spend the rest of my time. :) I'm thinking a movie or maybe a book. Actually, curling up with a movie and my knitting sounds perfect. Oh and I must energize myself to make some cornbread. So far I've just made myself a spinach omelette with sharp cheddar. Yummy!

And yes, BoXx, no more wheat. :)

I can honestly say that I KNOW that I am going in the right direction, because I don't feel any unrealistic expectations about anything. I feel only joy at the thought of enjoying my trip, and also JOY at the thought of spending time with someone who I think is a kind and special human being. I feel JOY about coming back here and taking new courses and starting new sports (e.g. maybe some cross-country skiing in the winter). I really believe deep down that everything will work out for the best. I can't predict, of course, if I will ever meet a wonderful life partner. But I do believe that if and when I do he will be the kind of person who is worth my time. I don't want anything less than to be with someone truly, deeply kind, life-loving, compassionate and fun.

So there you go. I'm happy. Maybe it's the allergy meds. :)

Hehehehehe.

Oh! I forgot to mention two very funny things! One is that I'm going to take a boxing class when I get back from Italy. Just call me the "I ROUND TO THE BILLION DAILY" dollar baby. Heheheheeh. :) This couple who were at the party and whom I enjoy being around are the ones who encouraged me. One doesn't have to end up boxing. One simply does the training. I love the idea of doing a simple course (the first is 8 weeks and is only $125 or so, so cheap compared with other sports programs around here). I've always had a very strong and developed lower body - even C. commented on how my calves are developing again on the bike today - but never had the balance of strength on the top. I think that this should be a fun adventure.

The other interesting thing that happened at the party - and this is sort of gossip, really - is that I found out that my friend M. is now seeing that boorish guy, K., who was on the camping trip on which I didn't end up going. He's the guy who was calling Chinese people names, and who generally was spouting all sorts of stupid, uninformed views about how everyone in the world was screwing us noble white people. I hope that she's just in it for the sex, because otherwise the whole thing makes NO sense. I mean, the woman volunteers with refugees.

The stupid thing is that the guy was still staring at me all night. I know that he is attracted to me, for some reason (probably because he repels me), when I think he is a wanker with a capital W.

All of this made absolutely no difference, as for some reason M. was completely hammered last night. I suspect that K. was as well. Not sure what is going on but I trust that she will work through her issues in her own time.

OK! That's all for me! Except, PEE ESSS, I thought of BoXx on my ride today: On the downhills I've started calling out WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Fortunately, C. joins in.

5:05 p.m. - 2008-09-07

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