enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I opened the window, a squirrel was actually SITTING ON THE WINDOW SILL. ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHH

Ooohhh I wish I could read your diaries right now, but I woke up SOOO late. I'm sitting here with wet hair and it's 8:40. Oops!

I've been wearing snowflake underwear every day this week. I wonder if that means that I'm ready for winter? I have red ones AND blue ones, each with big white snowflakes on them. I can't remember where I got them.

So I woke up having negative/worried thoughts, so I lay there for a while - hence the late start - reversing them/changing them.

The first was that M. might have a girlfriend there. And then I thought, "Well, that would be good!"

I want him to have a life, and I would hope that he would want me to get a life. There's nothing that I'd lose in this, only the silliness of some romantic feelings that have nowhere to go. I should be happy with a friend.

The second negative thing that I woke up with is that horrible feeling of rejection that I felt when that kiwi guy just deleted me without even a line to say that something that I had written turned him off, or that he didn't think we were compatible after all.

I mean, objectively, I don't care about the guy. Something about my career obviously bothered him, or, more likely, some hotter girl replied to him and he waited a few days to see where it would go, and then he deleted me.

It doesn't matter, but for some reason it just hurt my feelings to be summarily dismissed like that. I guess it's the feeling that 1)obviously I am doing something wrong; 2) maybe I am delusional in thinking that I'm great, when actually I'm completely disposable.

Anyhow. I dismissed both of these thoughts, because who cares? I actually feel quite good - though LATE - at the moment. I'm going to go to work and enjoy a fairly work-free day given that we have a group lunch for the new guy and then late in the afternoon a division social.

Yeah!

OK. Enjoy your Fridays. Go forth and prosper! ;)

8:40 a.m. - 2008-09-05

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

other diaries:

stepfordtart
ohell
awittykitty
annanotbob
manfromvenus
smartypants
fifidellabon
hungryghost
hissandtell