enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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The dudes love me. The dudes love me. (It's called affirmation. ;-))

I'm back! Are you surprised?

Poor Fifi read my recent entries. I read through some of them and OH BOY all I could think is Does this woman ever get off the same track? I also thought: This woman needs an editor.

So tonight I have been thinking about paranoia. :)

I always feel sort of paranoid when I am tired. Today, for example, I kept on thinking that my boss doesn't trust my ideas, because he went to the senior economist for something. BUt of course he went to the senior economist for something. If he didn't, the senior economist would sit on the Internet all day!

:)

So otherwise, I was feeling paranoid because I had written back to that Kiwi last night to answer his questions, and I think I scared him off.

But of course there could be a million reasons why he hasn't responded. And who cares anyhow?

I know these things and yet I am completely irrational.

And even if the negative interpretation is true, what good does it do to think about it?

OK. A final paranoia. I'm afraid of flying. I shouldn't even think about it, I know. It's tinging my trip with fear and regret.

Hmm...My achilles is really aching. I'm trying not to get upset about it, but it is worrying that it is taking so long to heal. But really, a few weeks is not long for this sort of injury, so I'll just have to be more patient. It felt so good to be running again last night though. :(

Oh well! Not a big deal.

I think I might have a brussels sprout addiction. Is there a treatment for that? I have some cooking right now. Mmmm...

OK. I'm going to try to be brief and more focused here. Tomorrow I think I'm going to try to go to yoga. I am unsuccessful always at doing this and at getting myself drawing. I just don't know why! Perhaps it's all the thinking about them that is doing me in.

OK. Greens, here I come.

Sleep well!

Postscript: OK. It was really useful to reread THIS entry. It veritably reads as something written by someone who CREATES worry for herself. It's like a neverending pit of worry. Why do we do that, again?

10:39 p.m. - 2008-09-02

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