enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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And what stage is anger, again?

Just got home from work. Have STUFFED my gob with chocolate.

For sure it's partly a hormones thing, but it's also that I MUST learn to deal with the senior economist more effectively.

He's only been back for four days and he has already WREAKED havoc on my work peace.

Today the bastard stole one of my ideas again and used it in a meeting to make himself appear as though like he'd actually thought about a subject. He is the absolute MASTER of making it look as though he has done something, when in fact he spent the whole flipping day using my work once I had finished it, and otherwise arranging the storage system that he wants to buy for his garage wall.

I HATE THAT GUY.

But at least I've graduated to anger rather than despair at the moment. That must be a good thing, right? :)

Yeah, all is OK at rancho EB.

I wish that some disappointment could, instead, be sent down from on high onto the head of the senior economist. Seriously, I have met few people who deserve it more. The thing that bothers me the most, really, and that has me not breathing and spiralling back into anxiety though, is that my BOSS - super genius man - seems to be fooled by him.

This is one way in which men are very disappointing to me. I think that men are not as good as women are at analysing others' behaviour, detecting signals.

BUt maybe I'm completely out to lunch and the guy actually has his number. Somehow I don't think so. I'll give it to the senior economist - he is slick.

So more chocolate or something else. Really, I NEED to do some breathing exercises. I just about lost it today. I thought again about changing jobs, but it seems a shame to have to go through all of that learning and transition into a new job again just because of THIS guy. It's quite stressful to change jobs. Whether it's more stressful than my current job...

AnyHOW.

I proofread C.'s dissertation - well parts of it, anyhow - after work, briefly. It had been checked many times before and it was well written. So that is good. In any event no one gives a sh!t in economics if you can even spell...sh!t, so whatever. The equations were pretty. He goes to Montreal tomorrow to submit. I was very touched by the thank you that I got in his thank yous section. That was nice.

C. wrote to me yesterday that I am the best "S" friend ever, and that means a lot to me.

7:04 p.m. - 2008-08-28

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