enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just noticed that I have a giant spider-web death trap for myriad insects hanging above my computer. I've never noticed it before. I'm not much of a housekeeper, methinks.

BoXx: You'll be delighted to hear that this morning I woke up thinking that the more that you think of negative things, the more you create of them!

So I'm not going to allow the negative thoughts in.

I woke up feeling normal, so let's just chalk up yesterday to the monthly cycle's hormonal day!

It's really not all it's cracked up to be to be a girl sometimes.

Yesterday WAS a funny day. I was so self-pitying! It was goofy. I got into the elevator at one point and a girl on my floor it turns out has 1) a boyfriend who just moved here from Australia and who proposed last week (she was showing the ring; and 2) is getting married in Australia next April.

I was supposed to get married in Australia, only that was ten years ago. It was a stupid, Bridg3t Jones worthy moment, in that this girl and I share the same last name and I was standing there listening to her gush and...feeling SORRY for myself! (I could hear the appropriate sappy music playing just for me.)

Honestly, the fact that I DIDN'T in the end marry S. and stay in Australia is one of the BEST things that has happened to me. (In the minimum because I don't have to sit there listening to him SAYING that he'll do something that he ultimately WON'T do, "in a tick." ;-) Oh, and probably sleeping with my best friend.)

But nevertheless there I was, feeling melancholy, sitting in the food court eating the cashews that I had for a snack. If I'd had some absinthe handy I could have been a D3gas: I dress like this for work, too.

We can be so stupid and self-defeating sometimes, non?

Well I can, anyhow.

The cycling was good for me last night, I expect, although it did limit my ability to fall asleep. Exercise and evening don't fit together very well. I'm a bit underrested, shall we say.

Anyhow. Let's start another day. I need to change a few things by just throwing myself into DOING things. The relationship thing is just a symptom of not doing other THINGS enough. I need to clean up my apartment, stay cheerful, and just get on with it. It's not that difficult. It's not Mount Everest or anything.

It'll all work out. It always does. Besides, how many people get to go off to have an Italian *affair*?

8:19 a.m. - 2008-08-28

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

other diaries:

stepfordtart
ohell
awittykitty
annanotbob
manfromvenus
smartypants
fifidellabon
hungryghost
hissandtell