enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary
"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bella figura Two TINY bits of news. I found an Italian for Beginners class commencing in September! Only thing is that registrations don't begin until Sept. 2. So I must put it on my calendar. The other thing is that I haven't yet booked my hotel. I'm feeling cheap all of a sudden again! (I'm soooooo filled with guilt. It's dreadful. And I haven't even done anything yet.) It's soooo difficult to change oneself. I'm feeling lonely and yet I haven't done any of the things that I'd planned with respect to courses and getting to meet new people. I didn't join a cycling club this summer. I didn't take a drawing course this summer. I'm a bit of a disappointment. I know: Focus on the present, the future, whatever, and believe. I'm not good at this! Yet. I will hopefully have the art class AND the Italian class this fall. And if a miracle occurs at some point, I might actually have a boyfriend other than an imaginary once or twice a year Italian one. I know that the secret for me is just getting out in public. The only time I've been to a party this summer I was asked out by a nice guy. Stupid me didn't even accept. Oops! The imaginary Italian one is good. I wonder if I've simply on some level wanted to wait to see him again and to savour the little fantasy a little bit longer. Yes, I do think like this. So for a very weak bit of amusement, I found this suggested on a forum as a means of "grading" men: A = You are gainfully employed, have clean clothes, know how to use a condom. B = You support yourself with "gigs", own toilet paper C = You have all your teeth Maybe that's the point: I set the bar way too high as a rule. |10:27 p.m. - 2008-08-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ||||||
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