enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Naming and being named.

OK. Please don't read this. Or do what you will. :) I just don't want anyone to think that I'm that crazy diaryland lady who writes ALL DAY LONG. Is there a "private" function for individual entries here, anyhow?

At any rate, pretty much nothing that goes on in my head is private, since that is just how I am. It has always been so and it always will be so.

So I've been thinking as I've been humming and preparing lunches for tomorrow, about the degree to which I have to kick myself in the tush to get out and do things.

I've been sitting here at the computer this evening and have plotted out the cell phone that I am going to rent when in Firenze, if I find that my classmates are interesting and I want to have a social life whilst there. I've also just posted something on a decent travel website asking for recommendations of unusual off-the-beaten-track hotels with spectacular gardens and/or views and/or a wonderful rooftop terrace on which of an evening I can go to have a cocktail like the lady of leisure that I am. :)

I've pored over my Klimt drawings book and started sketching. My lunch is packed for tomorrow now, and I've prepared and consumed multiple hits of veggies and feel great. And now I will sit down and read an article for tomorrow's work. (I read on the 'Net tonight that we will, indeed, be returning to our building tomorrow. :()

Come to think of it, tomorrow is coming soon enough. I think I'm going to skip work altogether tonight.

SO anyhow, I was thinking with frustration again about how it seems as if I really LIVE - and quite naturally at that - when traveling, and then shrivel up when at home.

Bad. Bad. Bad. I'm not beating myself up in a self-loathing sort of a way. I'm being constructive here. It's sort of working. At least I signed up for my September art class. Life drawing. Just an intermediate class. I love to draw. I don't want to paint. I just want to be in a room with my pencils and charcoal and so on. So now that I've committed to it and paid my $$, I can't escape! Go me!

I think that there has to be more though. I'm not sure what. I need to get out more. And it needs to be scheduled, otherwise I will never do it. :)

Yes.

As I said, I hope that you didn't read this.

Incidentally, if you are MFV and you got this far, I keep on seeing a diary called "vickith3cute" on the far right panel and it makes me smile and think of you. I have no idea as to what kind of diary it is, but I have only one other Victoria association and the most unlikely one at that: an absolutely BRUTAL older lady econometrics professor with harshly-coloured black hair, originally from M0scow U. Talk about an iron something...

It's a pretty name though. But also solid. I don't think that it was ever popular over in Canada, which is interesting. Queen Vict0ria was, on the other hand, very popular here. There are pictures of her everywhere. If you can believe it, my mother for a while actually had portraits of Victoria and Alb3rt in our dining room, that she had picked up at an antiques fair. (I would have put them in the loo, but that demonstrates the taste differences between my mother and I. Doesn't everyone need a chuckle in the loo? :))

Speaking of old-fashioned names, I remember that there was a gravestone that I loved in a little old graveyard near my grandparents' house. The girl's name had been Sophronia. I told my mother at the time that if I ever had a girl I would call her Sophronia Victoria. My mother assured me that I would NOT do this. She was probably correct about this. Even I confess that Sophronia would be quite an encumbrance for any modern girl to bear, beyond having a mother who is the crazy diaryland lady who types at 200 words a minute... :)

So THAT's enough rambling for today. I'm going to go hang up the laundry and probably NOT read an article for work.

And think about what OTHER course I am going to force myself to take this fall. Oh this self-actualization is a pain in the ass, I must say.

9:50 p.m. - 2008-08-24

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