enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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The sun just keeps on getting brighter and shinier...

Wow! I just set up an alter-ego (really just more of the same) over at wordpress. And here you all are again!

I do love my cheesy diary. I love it in spite of the fact that it is, really, only ever full of the same nonsense.

I feel rather grateful and cheery today. And this in spite of the fact that I have a horrific headache. It's the reason I have not yet gone cycling. (We're due for thunderstorms tomorrow.)

I can't tell if it is a migraine coming on, or a sinus infection, or my evil allergy to ragweed rearing its ugly head as the season begins. Some coffee should help, however, and so I've made some.

I'm feeling enormously grateful as my lower half has been feeling good for one week. Pain-free for one week. I can't exactly tell you what it is that has aided in this transformation, but the fact that I seemed to be winning my battle against anxiety this week lends a clue... I've also spent the last two weeks ruthlessly disciplining my diet. I've prepared all of my lunches from fresh produce and protein, and I haven't bought any crap food from anyone or anywhere. I love good food and I'm a competent cook so why would it ever be otherwise? :) Yesterday I went to the farmers' market and bought large handfuls of basil, sun-ripened cherry tomatoes, greens...Mmmm. Oh, and some TERRIFIC pecorino from the Italian Bott3ga.

I'm also grateful because I can fit into all of my old clothes. I tried on suits and pants from ten years ago and they all still fit. Everything for me from this point is going to be more about using my creativity and humility in order to move forward. I don't want to waste any additional money in my life trying to find external ways in which to feel better about myself. Yes, I need to look clean and professional and occasionally even dressy. But that doesn't take much money or really much effort. I know myself and I know what looks good and that is mostly good health, a trim figure, a decent hair cut, and a knowledge of the simple shapes and colours that suit one. It's pretty easy. So I need to keep it simple.

I'm hoping that I can get a good ride in today. Tomorrow will be rainy and terrible, apparently. It would be nice to get a ride in in advance. And then tomorrow I really WILL take myself to the art gallery for the morning or afternoon.

All good. Now off to brandish my rapier against this headache.

Enjoy your weekends!

11:40 a.m. - 2008-08-23

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