enfinblue's diary

enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Super great

Runner test:

Photobucket

So thanks to the super BoXx, I have photos working as a result of a photobuck3t account. Thanks!

So friends, I can't tell you the emotion as I sit here waiting for the marathon to start. It aches. Just for this moment, I want that body back and I want to hurt like that. Maybe I will again. I don't know. I feel old and flabby at the moment, but that is STUPID. :)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE The women's marathon is about to start! I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!

So here is a pic of me at the start of the London Marathon:

And me at the end along the Thames, my foot bleeding, just praying that I could hang onto slightly under 6 minutes a mile pace for the last mile and a half. I remember EXACTLY how it felt, and how proud I felt of myself. It was like magic. I'm actually grateful that I got to experience that in my life. :)

I'm in the back row, beside the tall Burundian coach in the blue shirt. You can't see me! (That's my big, white face to the right.) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK. Such good memories. Such good memories. We're on the practise track before the Chiba ekiden in Chiba (Tokyo).

OMG you just have no idea how much I want to run fast again at this moment. I'm watching these women, and I want to cry from joy and admiration! The marathon is so darn gruelling and emotional... :)

But do you know what? I'm glad that I'm not spending my entire life doing that kind of training anymore. I'm glad that I'm pushing myself higher, faster, stronger in my professional career right now, for that will afford me a future of higher, faster, stronger in all of the things that I value and love. I'm a little bit grateful, when I think of it, that I made the choice to cut my losses. Athletics is wonderful, but there are very important things to do in life beyond athletics - not to mention the fact that if you don't have financial support and you're getting older... - and I suspect that learning to ease gracefully to other things and other responsibilities is one of the tougher tricks out there.

But then again, maybe I'll run in the 2012 games at the age of 42. Lorraine Moll3r of NZ won a bronze medal in the marathon at that age in Barcelona, after all. :)

6:52 p.m. - 2008-08-16

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