enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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I feel like a gerbil on a wheel...

So I feel kind of better now. Purged. I cleaned up the shelves in the kitchen. I did the dishes. I've done some laundry. I cleaned the living room floor.

Now I am making tomorrow's lunch. Salmon.

Life is just crazy, non!?? It just goes on and on and on like a nightmare sometimes. :) Work. Work. Work.

This weekend is a holiday weekend though! I am so excited. I am so tired. I need a long rest. I mean, I know that I kind of rest all the time of an evening and on the weekends, but isn't that what life is for?

:)

So here's the thing: I haven't heard from M. in more than two weeks and I feel like writing to him. But what is the point if he hasn't initiated any email lately, for whatever reason? It makes me feel sort of desperate to want to email him, when really I just feel like telling him about a few things.

Gawd. I feel as though I am in high school! I will not write. I'm sure he will write when he has the time and inclination.

Ah sigh. I am just sooooo tired. I hope that I feel better rested tomorrow. The thing that I stayed late to do tonight I have to race to finish tomorrow morning. It is a horrible pension thing. I don't like working on savings-related measures because this is not my area of expertise. I feel like a bit of an idiot when I try to model these.

Hell, I feel like an idiot most of the time!

I wonder sometimes if I really am an idiot? I suppose it's difficult to tell unless someone tells you so.

Hmmm...I should put on a movie, I think. I'm utterly exhausted but when I've been working all day at work and at home cleaning, I really do need some time to unwind. Maybe a movie and then half an hour of my Lives of the Art!sts book.

Oh! I walked to the library briefly at noon today and I took out another book! I have so many books. It's kind of silly, really. I went there on my way back from the hair salon where I went to buy shampoo. I have been washing my hair with different shampoos lately and it never seems to feel nice and clean. So I splurged on some nice-smelling Av3da that will hopefully freshen up the locks. I do like nice-smelling shampoo, but I don't like buying expensive soap.

I'm so cheap, non?

Ah sigh. I think I will go on my favourite knitting website and look at the book and yarn that I want to buy. C. calls it my "sweater porn-ing," as often as not I think because I look and look and dream and imagine endlessly. Eventually I do settle on one pattern, typically. :) This kind of amuses me.

Sleep well and take care of yourselves!

11:04 p.m. - 2008-07-30

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