enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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TGIF for sure

OK. So I'm up and playing hookie from running!

I realized last night that I have to take back the red dress, unfortunately. I loooove the colour so much - it is pefect on me. And the shape is gorgeous.

The problem is that in the store where it was cool it fitted perfectly, even though I HATE buying a 0 (such a stupid size).

Out of the store, however, where it is hot, the fabric sticks to my ass and doesn't keep the proper line when I walk. It makes me feel packed in.

So, even though it is I suppose supposed to be very fitted, I just can't publicly wear somethign THAT fitted. Plus, I think ill-fitting. And I am not going to start wearing sp@nx or something in order to wear a size 0. That would just be wrong, i.e. denying my booty. ;-)

OK. It felt good to say that.

I really wish I didn't have to go to work today, and that I had enough vacation time left over that I coudl take off Monday. Tuesday next week is C@nada Day, so then I would have a four day weekend.

But not.

So mostly I will probably be sitting around twiddling my thumbs as I have no idea what I'll be doing with myself.

I loathe that.

Incidentally, I got an email from the woman at the other department. They are going to hold a competition for a higher level in the next couple of weeks and they want to be sure that I can apply.

I'm in such a screwy position on this, as I need to wait for a while for my promotion to come through here. Or, of course, I could win the competition there and go...there early. But then I'd feel guilty.

I wish I didn't have to think about this. I wish I were just contented with my stinky job. But it takes me down. It takes me down. Yesterday I was working on something with the senior economist at which I am clearly better, but that's the thing- I can acknowledge when he is better at something and revel in his ability to move the thing along, but when it's me who's better he has to compete with me all the way until the thing turns into a mess. HE also then takes my good ideas and sends emails to the boss making like the good ideas are his.

I really dislike that guy.

I never say that about people. Really, I try not to dislike people that much. I can't help it though. And I'm not competitive and petty and weenie enough to correct it with my boss. I would HATE to do that.

So, we're back at the same beginning as always.

OK. I should shower and put on some clothes. At least it's Friday!

8:20 a.m. - 2008-06-27

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