enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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So many things...

Just a quick note.

OK. I'm back to thinking, "Why not?" re. M. I've done stupider things.

There's much more to say, but I don't have time - C. is making me dinner and if I don't get over there soon he'll yell at me. :)

Have I ever mentioned that I really love my calculator?

Embarrassing confession but often when I leave my office I see my special calculator sitting there all pretty-like and I think, "Gee, someone could take my special calculator. I should take it home."

And then I slip it in my bag. I cart my calculator back and forth.

And anyhow, I do use it at work, but who needs it? I'm always in Excel or something else. And I mean, I could lock it up. I have lock-down cabinets, plus other locky lock drawers.

So funny. I'm a funny one. Why do I love this calculator?

I really don't know. I think it's just because I've had it for a long time - all through grad shool and so on, for sure, at least - and I very occasionally get attached to some stupid thing that I have had for a long time.

Though not often, because I tend to get rid of stuff, don't like hanging on.

But a calculator is functional, you know. :)

So I did some crazy things today. For one, I canceled my hotel reservation. I just didn't feel good spending up to the limit of the budget that we are permitted. I only booked it because the senior economist dude told me to, and because the people from the other section are staying there.

But the people - person, really - from the other section are/is annoying, and obviously very princess-like, since she mentioned that she is bringing checked baggage. (I mean, for three days?) I don't like this woman for other reasons, though - she's always completely rude to me and never includes me in any of the emails about this trip...yet another Farrah...only she works in VAT. I guess I can understand her frustration in life. :)

I really don't get it. Anyhow. I am not precious. So I canceled and booked in at the youth hostel. Crazy, I know. And I'm not trying to impress anyone. I guess at least it gets me away from the senior economist, who told me that I could still come over to his hotel and use his sauna with him. (ICK!)

So there you go. I felt a sigh of relief when I booked at the hostel. At least I will meet some interesting people.

ANd my coach Jerry emailed me and we are going to have a drink Thursday night, so I am off the hook with the SE for that one.

What else? Well I was really proud of something that I did today. There's this young woman in the research section who has been struggling with a lot of things this year. I think that the department is breaking her into pieces. (God, do I understand this.)

She was in tears today, telling me that she was dreading going to this conference, feeling on the verge of a breakdown. She was about to tell her boss that she wouldn't go. And her husband was upset with her because she is trying to bail on the conference (he's an economist, too, at the C3ntral Bank).

But I know that because of some health - I think anxiety issues, really - this year, she has taken a lot of days off. I know what people are saying, and I know that she is putting her career in jeopardy.

So I decided that I would help her to get through this conference. She is too smart and too capable to put her career on the brink right now. So I told her that I wasn't trying to convince her to go, that she should not go if she felt she could not do it, but that if she wanted to stay with me and lean on me and go out with me alone and cry whenever she wanted to, she had my shoulder to cry on.

So it seemed to have worked, because she emailed me later in teh day that she was 1) going to go; 2) feeling excited about it for the first time; 3) feeling less fearful.

So I might have a girl crying on my shoulder, but I've been there before and I wish that someone had held me up through these things (well, I mean at work, rather than at home).

So there you go. I really felt good about this, and I really do not mind if I have to help her in Vancouver. It is not a big deal. I would like to see her succeed. And I have to thank you guys and your support always, too, because every little bit gives you more strength to help others in turn. Thank you! Thank you!

OK. I should run to C.'s. He's really a grumpy C. :)

Run. run. run. run.

OH. I got another nice note from M. today. He's super nice. And if he's not there in September..

ACK! Speaking of September, my boss wasn't sure about giving me the time. He's going to think about it (even though I HAVE THE VACATION TIME BANKED AND I HAVE NEVER TAKEN A SICK DAY). So it's a good thing that I did not buy the ticket this weekend. Do cross your fingers for me that it will work out. If it doesn't I will either take only one week and still go, or I will try to go later...

Or I will just change jobs. :)

Enough of this.

Something to tell you about this dating site guy who had been contacting me and whom I've put off...

Later!

Cheerio.

So many things happen in a day, non?

7:14 p.m. - 2008-06-02

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