enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Not a good show at all.

I spent last night in complete panic. I've totally screwed up my career - which I barely had, anyhow - by telling my boss that I didn't think it was a match and that I was thinking of leaving.

I don't know what I expected to happen. Now he's going to be expecting me to leave, and I don't even know where I want to leave to. I really should be staying there for at least a year so that it doesn't look crazy on my resume.

I'm such a complete screw up. I'm going to end up at the bottom of the pile and will probably lose my career. I'm such an idiot. Sometimes I just hate myself. I get all hopeful and wanting to be happier and then I lose sight of everything practical and sensible. I am so tired and anxious and scared. I screw everything up.

8:58 a.m. - 2008-05-27

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