enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Almost too tired to go on, even though I have been sleeping lots lately. Just like the mice, I don't deal well with change.

You know, I was just thinking about that entry that I posted, and the fear that it represents.

It reminded me of my friend K, whose dad is a famous professor of Economics. He once told her that he'd read in the paper about a study - I think it was in a popular book - in which it was shown that mice in a maze will get really good at finding their way to the cheese, if you always put the cheese in the same spot. And they like that.

Apparently the mice - unsurprisingly, really - get really stressed when you move the cheese. But eventually they figure out how to find the cheese again, and everything is great.

So I'm really just talking about moving my cheese. I'm worried that I'm moving the cheese just because I'm stupid and moving my own cheese distracts me from thinking about the fact that no Mr. Mouse is hot for me and everything else seems to come to naught.

Yeah, definitely a bit worried. Whenever you change there is a risk that things can be bad, worse. And where I am is not bad by most people's standards. Maybe I'm way too sensitive?

Well, they are Stepford people. But is that necessarily bad? Maybe they keep the maze stable? Maybe they always make sure that we have cheese available?

Not sure. I'm very sad and tired. I wish that I COULD have a fish dinner with M. Or maybe even just a hug. When will I get it right?

6:32 p.m. - 2008-05-26

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other diaries:

stepfordtart
ohell
awittykitty
annanotbob
manfromvenus
smartypants
fifidellabon
hungryghost
hissandtell