enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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So many interesting thoughts.

Oh my god...so I am totally unrested and look like a haggis mcbaggis, but wow did I ever wake up feeling...sweet.

What a lovely, lovely guy.

I don't know how to explain to you how happy I am. And it's not about the guy. It's about the fact that after inviting awful, shallow guys like Larry into my life, I've started meeting guys who really like me for me and who are respectful, thoughtful and gentle.

This morning, I got down to my email, and that Polish guy from a couple of days ago, Jakub, had emailed me a quick note to be sure that we stay in touch and that I visit him in London next time I go. Now I have a reason to visit London again. :)

Poor Jan. That was the name of the English Aussie. He was and is such a lovely guy. And I was kind of hard on him. I can be a tough cookie sometimes.

But when I lay out in my mind all of these interesting people whom I've met in the last couple of weeks I see something so beautiful. In spite of his less compelling characteristics, Jan is among those people.

So anyhow this is all to say that I'm getting from this that all of teh "work" that I've been doing to feel better about myself and to get strong enough to live the life that I want fully and completely...has apparently been working today. I really couldn't have had a nicer connection with my bike guide. He is a beautiful person. I would be seeing him again but unfortunately he left today for a six day trip with a honeymooning couple. We will chat on the phone before I leave, though, and of course I'll be back. Italy is always calling my name.

I can't wait to post my pictures for you all to see. I should probably set up some sort of a photo album this weekend when I get back, or perhaps I'll put them up bit by bit. I'm no photographer but hopefully they present the essence of what I felt here.

OK. Even with this fatigue and hangover I am determined to have a beautiful day. I will head out to the Pitti Palace I think and then Santa Croce, or perhaps the two in the reverse order.

I think that things will be better when I return to Ottawa. I see myself in a slightly different light. I guess I needed to know again that I could actually be attractive.

9:59 a.m. - 2008-05-15

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