enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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OK. Tomorrow I must plan and organize for ITALY!

Yeah, just me again. I know - I'm kind of self-obsessed.

Writing all of this stuff out though has its merits. I'm realizing what an idiot I sound like!

It is true, realistically, I don't expect to meet the man of my dreams on an online dating site. But the truth is that if it helps even a little to refine the search by giving me a better glimpse into the range of traits that are truly going to make me happy...well that's all good.

And I had a feeling that the whole point of this was to actually *take action* and to see myself taking action. When I take action it snowballs and I take other actions. So I'll be more relaxed and proactive I suspect in other ways, since the ball is now rolling. *That* is the material point.

The universe is pointing me in the right direction. I'm at a point now at which I am open to being available and my full self. That's the pinnacle. Everything else to come is the icing on the cake.

Unfortunately I feel as though I am getting sick. It would be the ultimate disaster to be sick in Italy so I'm going to think of it as allergies!

I'm going to put on a movie now and then ease my way into bed.

I really appreciate the support and encouragement that all of you wonderful people out there have offered to me. I want you to know how genuinely touched I am by it and how grateful I am for your kindness.

:)

One day, I will be much less of a moron.

YOu know, sometimes, I really wish I were a casual sex kind of a person. So much of these neuroses could probably be worked out in other ways!

Ah well. I am what I am.

12:09 a.m. - 2008-05-04

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