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enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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I have Katie Holmes hair right now. But so does everyone else now. I'm scared!

OK. So the password may go on and off. I'm not sure! I'll be back later...M. is coming over to pick up clothes for the shelter. I'm still checking out my hair - had it cut an hour ago by my MARVELOUS and inspiring gay and beautiful hair stylist A., who used to be a software developer. I love that guy. He makes my day. He poured me a glass of wine. And boy did I need it.

Today was the day that I decided that somehow, one day, I'm getting out of this. This thing that degrades me, doesn't take or rejoice in anything that is good and lovable and loving about me. I don't enter into the world in the way that I could be doing when I am in this thing. I can rationalize it all that I want but my heart no longer sings. It needs to sing. I could be so much.

OK! That's all for now!

Oh and Fifi, my dearest, charmingest Fifi, I'm not all rabbit-y like in this talking. I just can't do it anymore. I can't go through this anymore. :) Today is the day that I start making a plan. Just like when I sat down on May 31, 1997 and decided that I would cut a half hour off the time in the marathon that I had just run in Vermont on a whim, in the fall of that year. And I did. I have a mind of steel when I put it to something worth doing.

Oh and those harmonic dudes had better watch out, because EB is around and she's feeling frisky. :)

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7:09 p.m. - 2008-04-29

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