enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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More self-flattery, I'm afraid. And here I descend into teen-speak, for some reason.

So I had a wicked day.

I just feel so darned good!

I had about eighty things going at once, and still didn't finish them. And my giant program that I had running over night last night to not run over the server didn't work and so I had to run it all over again tonight...but still, a good day. I felt like a contributor. I'm answering two Harley-mentary questions at the moment -wink wink - which is really, really interesting. It's the thing of, "so this guy is trying to snowball this guy, who snowballed that guy over a,b, and c," and now *I* have to prepare a response that matches the question and maybe but not necessarily the intent.

It's funny to be a public wanker sometimes.

I got really nervous today, too, in front of a chief of another section in a meeting. The old me would have felt badly about it and beaten myself; the new me is all zen and whatever. I knew that I could do what he wanted to have done; I just didn't know in that moment how to express it.

Besides, I was preoccupied with amusement by the fact that we were meeting in a meeting room that I thought was called the "BS" room. I mean, who wouldn't be? Who wants to think about taxes at a time like that?

Really, it meant "boardroom/salle de reunion, i.e. the standard French-English thing.

It's a funny thing in Canada. I had a French Canadian friend who got to be thirty or something thinking that a bridge was called a pontbridge. He had no idea that he'd just been seeing the French and English words lined up back to back every time he crossed over the river, all his life. And he wondered why people raised their eyebrows at him. ;)

So another really positive thing is that although I didn't enjy the reminder that lots of annoying guys will think that they can just go about having kids until they're 50 or 80 or something, but that women their own age are undateable because they've reached their near-expiry ovary date, I didn't *feel* upset about the guy's comments this morning all day. In fact, I'm starting to wonder if it's just that all of the stupid, low-class guys are on the more generic sites, and if the more interesting guys have just fled to the more specialized ones. I haven't yet paid for the detailed site but the guys over there seem to be much more interesting and dignified. Perhaps one gets what one pays for?

In fact, I was talking with my friend K. about this whole crazy-men-write-mean-or ugly-things-to-me thing. She looked at me in shock! She just couldn't believe that guys would be so stupid. And then she said - sorry, vanity here - "I don't get it. I think you're AMAZING! And by the way, my husband thinks you're hot. I don't care because, well, he's my husband." And this made me feel good because they are a super-cute, young hipster, lovely, brilliant couple! And he's a super smart economist.

I only met him once in the lobby and it was winter and I was probably wearing my overcoat and hat and scarf and so on and didn't think about it. BUt then she said, "It's true, and ____ _____ from my section is totally infatuated with you. Every time I mention your name he blushes."

I mean, I'm not going to date anyone at work, but I really like that guy. I think he's a super nice guy. And we've been cracking jokes about Berlusconi all week, which I love to do when I meet up with him in the elevator. So cool! Somebody likes me! Too bad he's ineligible.

Ah well! THere will be more. There will be more guys who like daffodil fruitcake! I feel assured of it.

For now, I get to conquer Harley -ment, one query at a time. :)

And oh my goodness I loved this part of the personality profile generated by the detailed-dating site : "Dr. Seuss describes you like this: 'Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!'" Isn't that the super coolest!?:)

OK. I'm goign to go and pound some meat with a rolling pin, since I do not have a meat hammer.

7:24 p.m. - 2008-04-22

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